GROWING IN THE QUIET

When it comes to parents-child relationships, it is important to know that it is different for everyone. For most parents, they are lucky to have good foundations for their children so they just blend in almost easily once they understand the kind of children they have while others, they struggle almost till the time when they just give up trying to do anything again. As for the children, they are usually happy to have their parents around them at a early age of their lives but with time, depending on how well their parents act and react, they either drift away or become best buddies with their parents/guardians. For the hivelearners topic second edition, we are asked to share our thoughts on **Kids and Privacy**. So without further ado, I’ll go straight to giving my take on this. Every living being or thing on earth needs privacy. I mean, even the sun goes out at night to let the plants rest from the effect it has on it. And most times, that’s when the actual growth takes place. So back to our kids, they do need privacy and that’s because that is usually the time you know whether or not they are learning. When you let your kids more privacy with expectations and guidance, even when you as a parent is not around them, they still tend to do the right things because they are happy that you trust them enough to give them that space to grow and practice what you teach them.  *_{The time to hold and lead them}* One thing a lot of parents don’t know or probably forget is that these children are one day going to be adults like them and at that time, they will have little or no say in what they choose to do or become. If most parents have this in minds, they will be able to know that treating their kids with privacy and boundaries is not negotiable. To our parents, they think they are being protective and they want the best for us which is true but then, too much of everything as they say, is bad. Yes, as children, we want our parents to be concerned but if we sense any form of excessive control, things starts to fall apart. No human being likes or truly enjoys to be controlled. We always want to be in charge. But this is the exact one thing that some parents deny their children of. They teach them so much but yet, they don’t give them the opportunity to even put these things into practice. And even when they do, they watch them too closely and try to make them not make any mistakes at all when in fact that’s the best time to make mistakes because it can easily be corrected since they are still under their supervision. When kids are within the age of 0-5 years old, it is not even wise to think of giving them privacy. So that alone tells us that privacy comes with the age of the child and also the maturity of the child. If your child is still within 0-5 years old, they need steady supervision because they don’t think for themselves and that’s when they need you as the parents to do that for them. But once these children are above 5, that is a very good time to start introducing them to privacy and boundaries. They should know that there is time to be in their room and time to be in the living room watching TV and so many other things.  *_{The time to let them be and watch}* Once they become teenagers, this is a time in their lives when they hate control the most and as parents, they have to be very cautious and careful with them at this point. If the parents have done a good job teaching them about boundaries and privacy prior to now, the parents should be able to know that this is a time to give them a little slack and watch how well they have learnt all the things you’ve been teaching them. Like, by now, there should be a time limit to when the dishes are done. So you can go out prior to that time and see if they remember to do the chores without being reminded. Build that level of trust and connection with your children that you only need to remind them when they prove to you that they haven’t been taking your advice seriously. And most importantly, as parents, don’t ever make your child see you as someone who doesn’t make mistakes because you do. And also, always lead by example and not mere words. If your child always see you do the things you say and not just saying them, that makes them want to do as you say. But when they see you doing the opposite of what you teach them, they start doubting you and that is a problem. See giving your kids privacy as a time to allow your child grow and practice what you’ve taught. And always make it possible for them to communicate with you freely because that’s the way you know whether or not they are learning or just doing things because they don’t want to be punished. And also, that way, you can easily and lovingly correct them and teach them how to do better and best. Thank you for reading through. 💜 * _{Images used are mine} *