Hello, the first years of life are the land where everything is sown, the difference is in whether we were raised in love mode or in survival mode, and this, of what I write between love or in survival, is not a minor detail, it's just: *the complete map from where the world is perceived*, our world. I was raised in survival mode, I am the eldest of eight siblings, that's why when I became a mother, of my three adult children today, I did it 100% from love and reality, without a doubt in survival we learn that in difficult times only the essential matters oh and the other thing is that the essential also brings "peace". These are two necessary visions. Every time I think about it, I do something kind for myself. I think that while I was growing up, survival made me very strong to face many difficulties that life placed in my way. >In fact... When we are in survival mode, we constantly live in hyper-vigilance, we become a radar, we measure every step, we anticipate dangers and we adapt to avoid conflicts. This taught me to dare to explore and trust myself, to feel safe. In relation to my self-censorship in survival: Since childhood we learn to keep quiet, to please, to disappear. Love is not earned, it is taken for granted. As much as possible, from my self-esteem, my "I built it, with freedom", because I feel worthy of being loved just the way I am. My bonds from anxious attachment, from isolation as a defense, refuge or threat and emotional dependence, I have changed them for healthy bonds with deep and balanced affective bonds. There is emotional maturity. I also think that since survival there is no creativity because we assume every action as an adaptation strategy. Do you know why? Because you don't just play, you survive. So, I prefer free play and so I practice it because the mind creates without fear of error, since there is margin, there is flexibility to fail, make mistakes, and learn. When you learn to function in zombie mode, you also learn to disassociate what we feel to avoid what hurts us, because the emotional absence is unfortunately strengthened. It is better to inhabit our body, to feel, to love to have internal contact, presence with what we are and with being here and now. Although growing up in survival mode is not a condemnation, it is an alert, and there is a lot of work to be done. Self-love, self-esteem, can be learned, being adults, although it has not been sown in our childhood and that is also personal power. There is no other, friends in Ladies Of Hive, even if we are used to repeating everything we learned to be in survival mode. >No one sees the world the same way. The important thing is not to look at it the same, it is the difference to achieve a fair and balanced view for both cases, neither one extreme nor the other. Janitze.🐝