Ten years ago today, my life changed forever! At approx. 6.45 pm, after 19 grueling hours of labour I was blessed with a gift of the greatest magnitude! I had absolutely NO idea just how much my little baby boy would impact my life.
Despite being married at the time, Jude was actually somewhat of a ***surprise*** hehe as we had decided not to have children and I can actually recall the conversation we had over dinner as I sipped on a neat whiskey. I never finished that whiskey as something didn't feel right... we picked up a pregnancy test on the way home, which I took the next morning and ***tadaaaaa***... my little peanut had other plans for me and the rest of my life haha! I really wished I had smoked one last cigarette before seeing the test results though haha because I swore I would give up smoking the second I was pregnant... and so I did. I also gave up my wine for nine months, so as you can imagine, I was a seriously miserable pregnant woman hahahaha!!!
After 19 hours of labour I consider myself EXTREMELY blessed that Jude simply slept straight through the first night because I honestly didn't even have enough strength left to keep my eyes open for family visitors. I think we were both equally exhausted. I had done everything short of hang from the ceiling to get Jude out of me - but he wasn't going anywhere! The positioning of his head was preventing him from coming out and with every set of contractions I had - his heart beat practically stopped, so I ended up having an emergency c-section.
Bringing my little boy home was probably the most simultaneously exciting and terrifying thing I have ever done! I had absolutely NO idea what I was doing and if I am honest, there are moments these days... ten years down the line where I feel pretty much the same way haha!!! - but hey, we do our best don't we!
As most of you know, shortly after Jude was born I got divorced and so my mom and I ended up looking for and finding a place together. I needed the emotional support and my mom was looking to leave the place she was staying at too, so it was a win win. My mom teaches art and so several times a week her students would be at our place. One of her students once told me *(without meeting Jude)* that he was here to teach me, to calm me and slow me down. She also told me that his colour is green but that this would change between ten to twelve years.
I will NEVER forget the things she told me because she was more than 100% correct. Jude is without question my greatest teacher - and not just in the obvious sense. He absolutely HAS taught me to slow down and up until about a year ago his favourite colour has always been green. Fascinating...
Anybody who has gotten to know my little man well, will testify to what an old soul he is! Wise beyond his years! Filled with SO much love, compassion and empathy. He has a heart as deep and large as oceans and I am blown away every single day by his inner beauty!
I could not possibly have been blessed with a more beautiful child! It brings tears of joy to my face simply looking at all these pictures and writing this. Jude truly is a one in a million little boy! He has inner and outer energy to counter 20+ people, he is compassionate towards those more vulnerable and less fortunate than him. He is kind, considerate, mindful, polite and so very unique and determined in his own character.
I never knew what unconditional love was until you came into my life my precious and (not so little anymore) boy... There is absolutely NOTHING I wouldn't do for you to ensure that you have the opportunity to enjoy this life to it's maximum and to have the confidence to know that you can become and do ANYTHING you set your heart and mind on.
To the most positively life changing 10 years of my life - I love you my little man! - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! Cannot believe you are already a double digit! I look forward to an eternity of making memories with you, beautiful soul!
❤❤❤
***Until next time...
Much Love from Cape Town, South Africa xxx
Jaynielea***
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