Este escrito forma parte de la iniciativa **“Volver a pasar por el corazón”**, creada por @damarysvibra, quien nos invita a reflexionar sobre los recuerdos que regresan y nos hacen sentir otra vez lo que vivimos antes, ya sea tristeza, impotencia, gratitud o alegría.
A veces los recuerdos vuelven con fuerza, sobre todo cuando algo en el presente los activa. Hace poco, mi gatito Negrito —que está por cumplir 14 años— se enfermó. Verlo así me hizo traer inmediatamente a mi corazón recuerdos muy dolorosos: sus compañeros que murieron por problemas renales, poco a poco, sufriendo, con visitas a veterinarios tras veterinarios, gastando mucho dinero y dejando de lado muchas cosas, haciendo todo lo posible por ellos… y aun así, al final, no se pudo evitar que fallecieran. Esa tristeza volvió a mí como si fuera ayer; sentí otra vez la rabia, la frustración y la impotencia que acompañaron a esos momentos del pasado.
Cuando estos recuerdos tristes vuelven a pasar por mi corazón, lo que más necesito es llorar. Muchas veces siento que el dolor se queda atrapado dentro de mí, como atrancado, y la única forma de que se vaya es encontrar un momento a solas, ponerme a escuchar música triste y llorar, llorar y llorar. Necesito permitirme ese llanto, dejar que salga todo lo que siento. Es la única manera de liberar la frustración y la tristeza que esos recuerdos traen de nuevo. Con los recuerdos felices, en cambio, todo es más fácil: uno sonríe, siente alegría y gratitud, y no requiere ese esfuerzo intenso para dejarlo pasar por el corazón. La tristeza siempre es más difícil de sacar, y por eso necesita su propio espacio y tiempo.
Pero al mismo tiempo, el presente también trajo un recuerdo positivo. A diferencia de aquellos momentos tristes, mi Negrito hoy comió su desayuno y almuerzo completos, está estable y, aunque su carita aún se vea un poco triste, puedo sentir alivio y gratitud. Eso me recuerda que, aunque la vida nos ha enseñado con dolor, también puede dar instantes de esperanza. Lo observo y doy todo lo que puedo para ayudarlo, incluso más de lo que a veces creo posible, porque su bienestar me importa profundamente.
No solo los recuerdos de mis animales regresan con fuerza. También vienen los de discusiones familiares que marcaron etapas de mi vida. La última pelea fuerte que tuve fue el año pasado, y aunque ha pasado el tiempo, al recordarla vuelve la melancolía y la distancia. Pero también he aprendido que a veces alejarse es necesario para no lastimarnos más, y esa comprensión es un aprendizaje que vuelve con cada recuerdo.
Por supuesto, también hay recuerdos que traen alivio y alegría. Por ejemplo, cuando mi mamá sobrevivió a dos mordidas de araña de rincón, o cuando un familiar sufrió un accidente grave y logró salir con vida. Esos recuerdos, lejos de ser pequeños o simples, son enormes y me llenan de gratitud, porque perfectamente pudieron tener un desenlace distinto. Cada vez que vuelven a pasar por mi corazón, siento alivio y agradecimiento de que la vida me permitió seguir compartiendo con ellos.
Y no todos los recuerdos que vuelven a pasar por el corazón son serios o dolorosos. También hay pequeñas ilusiones y sueños que me hacen sonreír. Por ejemplo, hace poco comenté en una foto de **mi actor favorito, Cary Elwes**, en Instagram, cuando asistió a un festival en Venecia. Es un actor británico que muchos recuerdan por su papel de *Westley* en la película *La princesa prometida*, y aunque ya tiene más de 60 años, sigue siendo tan elegante y guapo como cuando era joven 🥰. Le escribí un mensaje en español, porque me dio la gana, diciéndole que la elegancia no tiene edad y que se veía espectacular. La gente reaccionó con corazoncitos a mi comentario y eso ya me dio alegría. ¡Pero si él mismo me hubiera respondido con un corazoncito! Wow 😁, eso sí que se convertiría en un recuerdo inolvidable que me haría sonreír muchísimo.
Eso significa para mí “volver a pasar por el corazón”: revivir, en el presente, emociones que ya viví en el pasado, sentir de nuevo la tristeza, la impotencia, la gratitud o la alegría que esas experiencias me dejaron. Es como abrir una maleta que nunca está del todo cerrada: a veces salen heridas, a veces alivios, a veces pequeñas ilusiones que nos hacen sonreír.
Con esta reflexión me uno a la iniciativa **“Volver a pasar por el corazón”**, creada por damarysvibra, agradeciendo la oportunidad de mirar mis recuerdos y reconocer lo que aún despiertan en mí, con sus penas, sus alegrías y sus sueños pequeñitos.
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 [](https://pixabay.com/es/photos/rosa-amarillo-flor-flor-de-rosa-4925102/) This piece is part of the initiative **“Passing through the heart again”**, created by @damarysvibra, who invites us to reflect on the memories that return and make us feel once again what we lived before, whether it be sadness, helplessness, gratitude, or joy. Sometimes memories come back strongly, especially when something in the present triggers them. Recently, my little Negrito cat —who is about to turn 14— became ill. Seeing him like that immediately brought back to my heart very painful memories: his companions who died from kidney problems, little by little, suffering, with endless visits from one veterinarian to another, spending so much money and leaving many things aside, doing everything possible for them… and yet, in the end, it wasn’t possible to prevent their deaths. That sadness returned to me as if it had happened yesterday; I felt again the anger, the frustration, and the helplessness that accompanied those moments in the past. When these sad memories pass again through my heart, what I need most is to cry. Many times I feel the pain gets stuck inside me, as if trapped, and the only way for it to leave is to find a moment alone, play some sad music, and cry, cry, and cry. I need to allow myself that cry, let everything I feel come out. It’s the only way to release the frustration and sadness that those memories bring back. With happy memories, on the other hand, everything is easier: you smile, you feel joy and gratitude, and it doesn’t take that intense effort to let them pass through the heart. Sadness is always harder to release, and that’s why it needs its own space and time. At the same time, though, the present also brought a positive memory. Unlike those sad moments, today my Negrito ate his full breakfast and lunch, he is stable and, even though his little face still looks a bit sad, I can feel relief and gratitude. It reminds me that, although life has taught us through pain, it can also give us moments of hope. I watch him and give everything I can to help him, even more than I sometimes think I’m capable of, because his well-being matters deeply to me. It’s not only the memories of my animals that return so strongly. Family arguments that marked stages of my life also come back. The last big fight I had was last year, and although time has passed, when I remember it, melancholy and distance return. But I’ve also learned that sometimes stepping away is necessary to avoid hurting each other further, and that understanding is a lesson that comes back with every memory. Of course, there are also memories that bring relief and joy. For example, when my mom survived two bites from a Chilean recluse spider, or when a family member suffered a serious accident and managed to survive. Those memories, far from being small or simple, are immense and fill me with gratitude, because they could have easily had a very different outcome. Every time they pass through my heart again, I feel relief and thankfulness that life allowed me to keep sharing moments with them. And not all the memories that pass through my heart again are serious or painful. There are also little hopes and dreams that make me smile. For example, not long ago I commented on a photo of **my favorite actor, Cary Elwes**, on Instagram, when he attended a festival in Venice. He’s a British actor best known for his role as *Westley* in the movie *The Princess Bride*, and even though he’s now over 60, he’s still just as elegant and handsome as when he was young 🥰. I wrote him a message in Spanish, just because I felt like it, telling him that elegance has no age and that he looked spectacular. People reacted with little hearts to my comment, and that already made me happy. But if he himself had replied with a heart! Wow 😁, that would definitely become an unforgettable memory that would make me smile so much. That’s what “passing again through the heart” means to me: reliving, in the present, emotions I already lived in the past, feeling again the sadness, the helplessness, the gratitude, or the joy that those experiences left me. It’s like opening a suitcase that never quite closes: sometimes wounds come out, sometimes reliefs, sometimes little hopes that make us smile. With this reflection I join the initiative **“Passing through the heart again”**, created by damarysvibra, grateful for the opportunity to look at my memories and recognize what they still awaken in me —with their sorrows, their joys, and their little dreams.
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 [](https://pixabay.com/es/photos/rosa-amarillo-flor-flor-de-rosa-4925102/) This piece is part of the initiative **“Passing through the heart again”**, created by @damarysvibra, who invites us to reflect on the memories that return and make us feel once again what we lived before, whether it be sadness, helplessness, gratitude, or joy. Sometimes memories come back strongly, especially when something in the present triggers them. Recently, my little Negrito cat —who is about to turn 14— became ill. Seeing him like that immediately brought back to my heart very painful memories: his companions who died from kidney problems, little by little, suffering, with endless visits from one veterinarian to another, spending so much money and leaving many things aside, doing everything possible for them… and yet, in the end, it wasn’t possible to prevent their deaths. That sadness returned to me as if it had happened yesterday; I felt again the anger, the frustration, and the helplessness that accompanied those moments in the past. When these sad memories pass again through my heart, what I need most is to cry. Many times I feel the pain gets stuck inside me, as if trapped, and the only way for it to leave is to find a moment alone, play some sad music, and cry, cry, and cry. I need to allow myself that cry, let everything I feel come out. It’s the only way to release the frustration and sadness that those memories bring back. With happy memories, on the other hand, everything is easier: you smile, you feel joy and gratitude, and it doesn’t take that intense effort to let them pass through the heart. Sadness is always harder to release, and that’s why it needs its own space and time. At the same time, though, the present also brought a positive memory. Unlike those sad moments, today my Negrito ate his full breakfast and lunch, he is stable and, even though his little face still looks a bit sad, I can feel relief and gratitude. It reminds me that, although life has taught us through pain, it can also give us moments of hope. I watch him and give everything I can to help him, even more than I sometimes think I’m capable of, because his well-being matters deeply to me. It’s not only the memories of my animals that return so strongly. Family arguments that marked stages of my life also come back. The last big fight I had was last year, and although time has passed, when I remember it, melancholy and distance return. But I’ve also learned that sometimes stepping away is necessary to avoid hurting each other further, and that understanding is a lesson that comes back with every memory. Of course, there are also memories that bring relief and joy. For example, when my mom survived two bites from a Chilean recluse spider, or when a family member suffered a serious accident and managed to survive. Those memories, far from being small or simple, are immense and fill me with gratitude, because they could have easily had a very different outcome. Every time they pass through my heart again, I feel relief and thankfulness that life allowed me to keep sharing moments with them. And not all the memories that pass through my heart again are serious or painful. There are also little hopes and dreams that make me smile. For example, not long ago I commented on a photo of **my favorite actor, Cary Elwes**, on Instagram, when he attended a festival in Venice. He’s a British actor best known for his role as *Westley* in the movie *The Princess Bride*, and even though he’s now over 60, he’s still just as elegant and handsome as when he was young 🥰. I wrote him a message in Spanish, just because I felt like it, telling him that elegance has no age and that he looked spectacular. People reacted with little hearts to my comment, and that already made me happy. But if he himself had replied with a heart! Wow 😁, that would definitely become an unforgettable memory that would make me smile so much. That’s what “passing again through the heart” means to me: reliving, in the present, emotions I already lived in the past, feeling again the sadness, the helplessness, the gratitude, or the joy that those experiences left me. It’s like opening a suitcase that never quite closes: sometimes wounds come out, sometimes reliefs, sometimes little hopes that make us smile. With this reflection I join the initiative **“Passing through the heart again”**, created by damarysvibra, grateful for the opportunity to look at my memories and recognize what they still awaken in me —with their sorrows, their joys, and their little dreams.
