The Unexpected Weight of a Whiteboard Pen
Leading a tutorial hits you with a special kind of tired. It’s not like that all-nighter exhaustion when you’re studying alone, battling a textbook. Guiding your friends through a subject? That's a whole different ballgame. It’s like doing a mental, emotional, and social triathlon where you’re coach, cheerleader, and athlete all rolled into one.
This whole thing starts way before you even grab that whiteboard marker. Getting ready is a real lesson in humility. You think you know something until you have to break it down for others who are counting on you to make sense of it. So, you reread everything, draw tons of diagrams, and guess every possible question. The pressure to be correct and speak clearly is intense. You’re taking apart your own understanding and putting it back together so everyone can get it, from the quick learners to those who are struggling.
Then the session starts. The second you pick up that pen, something changes. You’re not just a student anymore; you’re running the show. Your brain splits in a bunch of ways: explaining stuff, watching to see if people look confused or if they're getting it, keeping track of time, and answering questions that come from all directions.
The hardest part isn’t even the teaching—it’s the energy you spend. You have to look calm and sure of yourself, even when you're secretly doubting your own logic. You have to gently bring things back on track when the conversation goes off on interesting, but unrelated, tangents. You have to come up with a couple different ways to say the same thing when the first tries don’t work. It’s all about feeling what they’re feeling, seeing the problem the way they do so you can find out why they're stuck.
And I’m not gonna lie, it drains you. You feel like you’re really responsible for whether they get it or not. Every confused look feels like a small failure; every time they get it, it’s a huge win. You’re putting in knowledge and care. When those hours are up, your voice is gone, your hand's covered in ink, and your brain feels like it was just in a blender. You’re totally wiped.
But here’s something nobody tells you: It’s the best kind of tired. When you see the light go on in their heads, when your friends say, “I finally understand!” – that’s a feeling no solo grade can beat. Doing that tutorial was pretty hard, but it also helped me learn the stuff myself in a way nothing else could. It's a good reminder that the best learning isn’t when you’re studying alone, but when you’re trying to help others get it too.