It's been 3 days since I last posted, and it's been overwhelming. I hit some health scare again, and anxiety has slowly crept in. I don't want to talk about the whole story, because I feel tired and unmotivated to do anything.
A week ago, I was regaining some good momentum and even posted daily, twice, but something has happened again, and that momentum seems to have halted. I tried to reduce my work time to see if I could sleep more.
I already sleep 6 to 8 hours on average every day, but I tried to see if I could make it 8 to 10 hours, but this is practically impossible. It's impossible to sleep that long and have enough time to work.
I work about 10 to 11 hours daily, and sometimes I wonder if these working hours are extremely bad, because I know people who work even twice as hard in 9 to 5s, and they don't get that level of stress that bumps up blood pressure.
It's been 2 years since I started eating healthier and cut out 70% of inorganic food and fizzy drinks. I've cut my sugar intake by over 65% as well and sleep more than I should, yet I know people who eat even more terrible food who are way healthier than I currently am.
So the question I'm always asking is, how am I doing everything right, and yet it's not working? So currently I'm trying to find natural ways to relax or take away thoughts of anxieties; perhaps this will help me. My plan is that I have to key into the current happy moments in my life so that I can find some inner relaxation.
I cannot seem to find a lot of happy moments. Some of my previous life happy moments were back when I didn't have to worry about the state of my health or worry about money or grieve from loss.
These three things were what kept me sane in the past, but now, I always worry about them. So perhaps the solution is to try and hope or have faith that my present reality will not determine my tomorrow. Or just at least pretend that most of my problems aren't real and that it is all just my imagination.
Another solution is to try and watch a movie sometimes or talk to someone. Watching a movie is hard because I can't work and watch a movie, and I can't watch a movie in my sleep time. I presently don't have an off day; I'm doing my 10- to 11-hour daily gig, and that's why I'm trying to quit in 2 to 3 months' time.
Unfortunately this is the reality; I can't hold those long job hours, because even I begin to feel a pump in my blood pressure. I was always able to do a daily 7 to 7 job about 8 years ago, and these days I can't even hold that much, but then perhaps I'll push this job for 3 months and then quit.
These past few days have been filled with anxiety for me. I was quite happy to be recovering nicely and suddenly hit a bump on the road. The final step is to quit the job I currently do; perhaps this will help a lot, but the disadvantage is endless bills with nothing to pay for them.
.I plan to quit the