For the first time in a long time I'm making back to back post on Hive, infact it's been a month since that has happened.
The longest I've ever been out sick, it's always been 4 days, one week, but it's been a month now and in the last 2 to 3 days I've feel some relief. In the first two weeks of my illness, it was difficult to drink a liter of water.
Never ate any decent food for the first ten days, constant diarrhea and vomiting, then the blood pee and then the rash and bruises inside my nose and tongue, then the anemia came, the paleness,and the drastic weight loss.
My cheekbones dug in very badly, obviously I hadn't eaten and was constantly dehydrated because I couldn't take in water.
On the fourth week, I started eating well again, and for someone who couldn't drink up to a liter of water per day, I started doing 5 to 6 liters per day.
Two days ago, I decided that cook my meal for the first time in a month, although I was tired and gassed out,but I completed the cooking and afterwards laid down. Close to 4 weeks,and yesterday was the first time I stepped out of the house.
I did it at night, because I didn't want people seeing the paleness and the weight I had lost. I wasn't able to see properly, everything was hazy, I was struggling to maintain my balance, my brain felt foggy, but it got better after two to three minutes of taking walking. It felt like learning how to make walk again, and my eyesight finally adjusted to the light.
I'd be taking a lot of water and adding unsweetened yogurt to it, I've also incorporated more roasted meat into my diet, thankful I have someone who ran all that errands for me, and I'm thankful I had him do all that for me.
Without that availability, I'll probably starve in the house with no one to do my food shopping. Since I was brought back from taking multiple IV meds 3 weeks ago, I've had to do a lot of things on my own.
This is my life, I've learned to survive on my own, at the detriment of my condition. I know that this isn't proper or right in anyway, but it's difficult for 99% of people to understand my struggles,so I rather not let them in on it.
The struggle, depression, pain. I've had good times, but those good times were what brought a lot of the sadness I currently have today, I'm not entirely ungrateful for my struggles, it has actually helped me to learn the reality of life.
The reality of life can be sad, but some people realize too late, in my case I have realized a lot about my reality and the reality of life and it makes me sad. A big illness like the one I'm currently trying to recover from, it slows you down, reminds you of things you're trying not to think about and it stops you on the track.
I have everyday anxieties and fears, and the reason why I don't dwell on them is because sometimes I think about the money I need to take care of things and how to get it. I don't want to have big illnesses like this one again, but for someone a with chronic condition, sometimes all you can afford to do is to hope, take precautions and have faith, other things are just beyond control