From training Navy Seals to teaching managers of Fortune 500 companies, Chase Hughes has become a modern expert in human behavior and psychology.
In an effort to know ourself, it helps to understand the way that our brain and mind works. Then beyond that is of course consciousness and anything transcendent. But we need to understand the basics first.
Based on Chase Hughes' work as outlined in his book "Six-Minute X-Ray," here are the six social needs with their corresponding childhood deficits and fears, as a way to understand your behavior and that of others:
The Six Social Needs According to Chase Hughes
1. The Status Seeker - Need to Feel Important
- Summary: Craves recognition, prestige, and being seen as special
- Childhood Missing: Acknowledgment of achievements, feeling valued or celebrated
- Core Fear: Being dismissed, mocked, or treated as insignificant
2. The People Pleaser - Need for Approval
- Summary: Seeks validation and positive feedback from others constantly
- Childhood Missing: Unconditional acceptance, consistent praise and encouragement
- Core Fear: Rejection, disapproval, or disdain from others
3. The Belonger - Need for Acceptance
- Summary: Desires to fit in, be included, and feel part of the group
- Childhood Missing: Feeling included, accepted for who they were
- Core Fear: Criticism, alienation, or being cast out socially
4. The Intellectual - Need to be Perceived as Intelligent
- Summary: Wants to be seen as smart, knowledgeable, and mentally capable
- Childhood Missing: Recognition of their intellect, being heard and respected for their ideas
- Core Fear: Being perceived as stupid, ignorant, or intellectually inferior
5. The Victim - Need to be Pitied
- Summary: Seeks sympathy, compassion, and special consideration for their struggles
- Childhood Missing: Emotional support during difficulties, having their pain acknowledged
- Core Fear: Being ignored, disbelieved, or having their problems minimized
6. The Dominator - Need to be Perceived as Powerful
- Summary: Wants to be seen as strong, influential, and in control
- Childhood Missing: Feeling empowered, having agency and control in their environment
- Core Fear: Being disrespected, challenged, or seen as weak
Hughes explains that everyone has two of these six needs, which can be identified through behavior and appearance patterns. These needs develop from what was lacking in childhood and drive much of adult social behavior as people unconsciously seek to fulfill these unmet developmental needs.
Here are classic fictional examples that embody each of Chase Hughes' six social need types:
The Six Social Need Types in Fiction
1. The Status Seeker - Jay Gatsby (The Great Gatsby)
Gatsby epitomizes the need to feel important through his extravagant parties, pink suits, and mansion designed to impress. His entire persona is constructed around appearing wealthy and significant to win back Daisy. He desperately needs to be seen as someone who matters, having grown up poor as James Gatz. His fear of being dismissed as insignificant drives his obsessive pursuit of status symbols and social standing.
2. The People Pleaser - Samwise Gamgee (Lord of the Rings)
Sam constantly seeks Frodo's approval and validation, going to extraordinary lengths to please his master and gain his favor. He shows classic people-pleasing behavior - self-sacrificing, always putting others first, and desperately needing to be told he's doing well. His fear of rejection or disappointing those he cares about motivates his unwavering loyalty and service.
3. The Belonger - Hermione Granger (Harry Potter - early books)
Initially, Hermione desperately wants to fit in at Hogwarts and be accepted by her peers. She follows rules obsessively and tries to prove she belongs in the wizarding world despite being Muggle-born. Her know-it-all behavior stems from wanting acceptance and fearing criticism or alienation from the magical community she so desperately wants to be part of.
4. The Intellectual - Sherlock Holmes (Sherlock Holmes stories)
Holmes constantly demonstrates his superior intellect and becomes visibly irritated when others fail to appreciate his mental capabilities. He needs to be perceived as the smartest person in the room and often shows off his deductive abilities unnecessarily. His greatest fear is being seen as intellectually inferior or having his reasoning proven wrong.
5. The Victim - Eeyore (Winnie the Pooh)
Eeyore consistently presents himself as perpetually suffering and expects others to feel sorry for his plight. His gloomy outlook and constant complaints about his misfortunes are designed to elicit sympathy and pity. He fears being ignored or having others dismiss his problems, so he continuously emphasizes his struggles.
6. The Dominator - Miranda Priestly (The Devil Wears Prada)
Miranda needs to be perceived as powerful and in complete control at all times. She uses intimidation, maintains emotional distance, and exercises absolute authority over her domain. Her whispered commands carry more weight than others' shouting, and she fears any challenge to her authority or being seen as weak or vulnerable.
Bonus extra:
Here's a better, more universally known example for The Dominator:
6. The Dominator - Darth Vader (Star Wars)
Vader embodies the need to be perceived as powerful through his imposing presence, commanding voice, and absolute authority. He uses fear and intimidation to maintain control, literally choking subordinates who disappoint him. His entire identity is built around being seen as the most powerful force in the galaxy. His greatest fear is being challenged or seen as weak - which explains his intense reaction to Luke's defiance and his inability to tolerate any questioning of his authority. Even his mechanical breathing serves to announce his presence and reinforce his intimidating, powerful image.
This example works much better since Darth Vader is one of the most recognizable villains in popular culture, and his power-driven personality is his most defining characteristic throughout the Star Wars saga.
Each character's core motivations, behavioral patterns, and story arcs revolve around their desperate need to fulfill these psychological drives while avoiding their corresponding fears.
I find this behavior theory very practical and helpful in understanding myself and the way my mind works. I hope it brings you some self awareness too.
Image: https://pixabay.com/photos/cards-different-personalities-4861415/