HOPE EVERYONE IS WELL
After the loud fireworks yesterday we had quite a struggle trying to calm Luna, we did everything we could to drown out the loud bangs but they were so close to our roof plus the noise was louder than they ever have been, louder than I could remember. Hubby did nip over to see what was happening as we hadn't heard of a fireworks display. When he got over there they had a massive bonfire plus so many fireworks. He saw a few of our younger neighbours plus a lot of people he had never met. They were all drinking with empty cans all over the field plus a certain smell that was worrying as there were quite a few youngsters. Hubby didn't stay long but he did talk to a couple of people he knew. They told him one brother had spent £1000 on fireworks whilst another had spent £500. That told us we were in for a long night.
We got Luna to bed, she tucked into me so tightly still breathing heavy and her little heart pumping fast. I lay next to her talking to her quietly and stroking her trying to calm her down, eventually she started closing her eyes and breathing slower. She looked so sad though.
She did eventually get to sleep, she must have been shattered as she stayed really close to me hardly moving that I had to keep putting my hand on her stomach to make sure she was still breathing. Thankfully this morning she woke up as her usual bouncy self, now im praying to the firework gods to please beg no more fireworks tonight.
We have a birthday to look forward to this weekend, can't believe my youngest is 28, its gone so fast I feel as If I've missed a few years. We are planning a meal out with my family then she is off to spend a few days with her boyfriend. The older she gets the lonelier I get. My hubby has a busy life as he has so many hobbies plus his body isn't in as much pain as mine is. I would never stop him doing what he wants or going where he wants, if he wants to play Golf I'm not going to hold him back,and I don't blame my daughter I love it that she's getting out and enjoying life, she always comes home and tells me all about it,I can't physically do it but I can enjoy hearing her enjoy life.
Life has a funny way of working out, it can turn into something unexpected. I never in a million years thought this would be me, I had plans to travel with hubby, get out and see more of the world, buy a camper and travel around the UK, I even wanted a bucket list that I could tick things off, its pointless now as the list would be so small with nothing exciting to show for it.
I am scared about my future as I know it's not going to get any better unless they start full body transplants, I do still hope that I don't get worse but I am scared in case the good days get less as in the bad days I really can't see me me coping with that pain constantly. The pain is always there just not at the heights it gets to on s bad day. Those days are hell.
Thank you for visiting 💟💟