Funny Nightmare
Last night I had what I can only call the silliest horror movie ever filmed in my subconscious.
I was being chased, not by zombies, not by vampires, but by a giant stack of unpaid electricity bills. They had legs, arms, and angry little faces. Every time I tried to run, the stack shouted, “Estimated billing!” and grew taller.
I ran into a forest for safety, but instead of trees, there were thousands of my old primary school teachers, all asking me to “stand up and read page 45.” I haven’t felt that level of pressure since childhood.
Just when I thought it couldn’t get worse, a giant plate of jollof rice appeared… and it was chasing me too, waving a spoon, yelling, “Eat me before I get cold!” I tripped, fell, and suddenly the rice and the bills started arguing about who had the right to torment me first.
That’s when I woke up, sweating, but also laughing. Because apparently, my scariest nightmare is not demons or monsters, but Nepa bills, old teachers, and aggressive rice.