I used to think I was not a jealous lover, but now that I think about it, I wasn't just so much committed to my previous relationships as I am now and I think it makes a big difference. I could see my partner then talking to a male friend and not think anything about it no matter how close they seem to be. Seeing my partner do that now, I will eventually become utterly jealous definitely not immediately and depending on how the situation is. I believe in giving my partner space and trusting that she is committed to the relationship as I am so there is really no need to be all detective on her, however, there is a limit to what I can accept and these are things I've discussed with my partner in the past.
One time I had to ask her what cheating is, and according to her it usually involves the act of sex. For me, I start to perceive cheating when I see a level of fondness growing between my partner and someone else no matter the gender. I know for certain my partner isn't gay or bi, but then I believe I should be first no matter who comes to play, and although I don't easily feel threatened, when I find out she's becoming too fond of someone I begin to get jealous because the thing about such emotions is that it easily grows. I have a friend who, although married , works with my partner and at one point his name was always popping up in our conversations and that was the moment I knew I was capable of being jealous.
For the first part she would meet him for professional advice, but then it began to get a bit more personal when she started seeking relationship advice from him. He got to know certain things going on and would often advise her on things I already talked to her about and she would listen to him but not me and this got me really jealous as I wondered what he had over her that I didn't or perhaps she was just so used to my antics and appreciated something new. I had to speak to her about it, but she had already realized and was already backing out because he's also married for crying out loud.
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