Growing up in Nigeria in the 80s, I can never forget the strict discipline that my parents and teachers instilled in me not just me but others that were born in the 80s. It was a time when respect for authority was very important ,disobedience was met with punishment and stubbornness was not allowed. Looking back, I realize that those strict rules and discipline helped shape me into the responsible adult I am today.
However, as I observe modern parenting in Nigeria, hmmm.... I'm alarmed by the way parents treat and raise their children. Many parents today prioritize their children's happiness and self-esteem above discipline and responsibility. The result in my opinion, is a bunch of undisciplined young people.
I recalled a recent incident where my neighbor's child aged 15, refused to do her chores because she "didn't want to." , instead of forcing her into doing it or making her face consequences, her mum allowed her to go out with her friend while she went to the kitchen to do the chores. When I tried talking to her about what transpired, she shrugged and said, "she's just a child". A fifteen years old kid? In contrast, our parents in the 80s wouldn't hesitate to punish us for disobedience. You don't even have the guts of saying you wouldn't do your chores.We were expected to respect our elders, do our chores and excel in school. The consequences of failure were clear, and we knew that our parents meant business.
Modern parenting in Nigeria seems to have lost its value except for few parents who still inculcate discipline on their children. The emphasis on self-esteem and happiness has led to a different thing entirely , children expect everything to be handed to them on a silver plate and be fed using a silver spoon as well.The lack of discipline and responsibility will, in my opinion have severe consequences for our society in the future.
As someone who has seen or better still experienced both parenting styles, I firmly believe that the strict discipline of the 80s was more effective and far better in producing nurtured, responsible, discipline hardworking and respectful individuals. The funny thing is these modern day parents who claim to be nurturing their children's self - esteem were brought up in a disciplined way . You can as well say they were brought up with iron hands. So what I don't understand is why this parenting has turn to a far opposite direction.
We need to find a balance between discipline and nurturing, teaching , responsibility and fostering self-esteem. Our children's and generations to come future depends on it.
This post is in response to the #Hivenaija weekly contest edition 98 on the prompt Then vs Now As times are changing the method of child upbringing is changing too. For the best or for the worse? Share your view in comparing parenting styles in the 80s vs modern parenting. And of course, I went for child upbringing is changing for the worse in modern parenting.
Image 1 credit - Meta Ai Image 2 credit - Chat GPT
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