Most of times, it takes just few words to completely change how you see a person. Like, you can actually admire someone for long, maybe for their character or whatever. Only for one word to tear that admiration down completely. It’s a strange thing, how respect can be built slowly and then destroyed in an instant. I’ve experience it myself.
So, there’s this young lawyer I often cross path with at work. At first, I admired him. He looked so young, yet he had already achieved so much, becoming a lawyer at such age, it was something I have only read in books or in the news. Even though I did not really understand all those legal terms or whatever it was they were saying, I liked the way he sound so intelligent when he is talking with other lawyers, his confidence, his composure and the way the others listened to him made it clear that he knew what he was saying. It was his personality I liked more, actually. He was a quiet and kind guy. He also spoke to me like he was very familiar with me and I liked his vibes a lot.
But that admiration ended quickly. I cannot really remember well what started the conversation and how it led to all that, but we were talking and the next thing, he said something that left me completely dumbfounded. He told me that we ladies are wasting our time going to school and trying to be successful, because at the end of the day, we would just get married and sit at home. He said no man even really wants a woman that’s successful.
I froze, like literally.
I was not even done processing what he just said, but he continued. He said women were objects. Yeah, he used the word ‘object’. That word alone burst my head. Objects? I was just looking at him, not even knowing what to say . He didn’t even stop there, he added that women were definitely someone’s property – that for now, we may live our lives freely but eventually they would be controlled by whoever “owns” us. He said we shouldn’t act “all mighty” or like we were “some sort of god” because at end of it all, we were destined to belong to someone else.
Like, I just sat there, looking at this guy. I was dumbstruck. This was a man I looked up to, respected even. A lawyer. And here he was, looking me in the eye and reducing women to nothing more than objects and property.
I think he noticed my expression because he added “I know you might disagree with me, many women would, but…” and then he raised his voice, saying that it’s because of women who feel they “own themselves” that they have divorce cases piling up daily. And that he hates his female colleagues who went to school, became lawyers just be sheer luck and thinks they are now in the same level as any other male lawyer. Broo. How can someone be so intelligent and have such a degrading mentality about women?
I dislike and distance myself from people who think so low of women, naturally. Hearing it from him just destroyed the respect I had for him. A lawyer, of all people, should know better. He should know that women are more than wives, property or someone’s possession.
After that day, I slowly stopped talking to him. That was how my closeness with him just eneded. The admiration had faded and there was disappointment. But I realized something, being smart or successful is not enough neither does titles and achievements make someone admirable. What truly matter is the mindset they carry and the values they uphold. Because really, no amount of brilliance can make up for such a rotten view.
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