Amara still remembered the night she told David she was pregnant. He was twenty three then, fresh out of the university and had dreams that were bigger than his pockets. She had expected him to be shocked, maybe scared but not denail. He had looked at her with cold eyes and said the words that broke her into two.
"That child is not mine"
She raised her daughter, Chidima, alone. She worked two jobs, missed sleep and carried her shame in silence while David went on to marry Adaora, the banker everyone praised for her beauty and brains. Amara moved on too, or so she thought, because each time Chidima asked about her father, a part of her bled.
Years rolled by. Chidima grew up inheriting her father's eyes but her mother's stubbornness. Amara never wanted David anywhere near her. She wanted no confusion in her daughter's life and David had made his choice. But of course, fate likes to work on its own terms.
One day, Amara and Chidima were in her school hall, attending the annual inter-house sports competition. Chidima was in blue house and she had just won a 100m race. Amara clapped so hard that her palm stung, she was proud of her daughter. She was wiping sweat off Chidima's face but then she suddenly froze. Standing at the entrance of the hall was David. She knew it was him immediately she saw him, but he was not standing alone, two men she did not know stood by him and he looked around the hall as if he was searching for something, or someone.
When their eyes met, David started walking towards her and Amara felt her throat tightened. She put her hand on Chidima's shoulder and whispered "Stay here"
"Amara" David said when he reached her. His voice was soft and almost pleading. "I've been looking for you"
"What are you doing here?" Amara voice was firm
David cleared his throat and moved his hands nervously to his side "Amara, I came to see my child"
Amara laughed, but it was a bitter laugh, one that held no joy "What child? Oh, you mean the child you denied? The one you turned your back on? You told me she was not yours, David. You left me to carry her alone. And now you say you're looking for your child?"
David swallowed "I came to see you... and her" His eyes went to Chidima, who was laughing with her friends, unaware of the storm building.
Amara stiffened "You have no right"
David's voice broke as he tried again "Amara, I was young. I was afraid. I couldn't possibly bring you and a baby home to my parents. My parents wouldn't have let me be with someone like you, but they believed marriage to Adaora was the right thing to do. I listened to them. I thought life would be better. But Adaora cannot have children. We have tried everything and the doctors say it is impossible. I want to be a father and I couldn't stop thinking about the baby I left you with. I want to be a father to her"
The audacity of his words made Amara's chest burn. She had begged him then not to turn her away like that. For years she carried the burden alone. And now, because life had denied him, he wanted to return and take what he had thrown away. Amara shook her head. Anger rose in her "So you're here because your wife cannot give you a child? You think you can just walk back into my life and take what you once threw away? Fatherhood is not something you pick up when it suits you. It's not a spare tyre, it's not a second option."
David's men shifted uncomfortably but he raised his hand to stop them. He was desperate "Please, Amara. Let me explain to her, let her decide"
Amara almost laughed "Decide? She is eight, David. She..."
Amara looked at her side to see Chidima tugging at her dress "Mummy who is he?"
Amara bent down and pulled her daughter close. She rubbed her cheek gently. Her voice soft but heavy "He's nobody, my love. Go stay with your friends for sometime, I'll join you"
Chidima looked again at the man standing there, then nodded and went back to her friends.
Amara stood straight, facing David. Her voice was steady now "She doesn't know you and she doesn't need to. She has grown without you and she is happy. Don't come here again and bring confusion into her life because of your regret"
David's shoulder sagged. His voice was low "Please, Amara. I want to talk to her, I do not plan on taking her away from you. I only want to know her."
Amara's eye filled with hot tears but her anger was stronger than her pity "You want peace for yourself. That is what you want. You want to ease the pain in your home but Chidima is not medicine for your sorrow. She is not here to make you feel better about the choices you made, she is my daughter. I carried her, raised her, I stayed awake when she cried at night and I held her hand when she was since. Where were you, David? Where were you when the neighbours judged me? Where were you when my child asked why she had no father?"
David opened his mouth and then closed it again. He rubbed his palm together. His eyes were wet but Amara did not move. Finally, he whispered "I just want to be a father... to her"
Amara shook her head "No. You made your choice, you walked away. You do not get to walk back now. Not after all these year and after all the pain. Go back to your wife. Carry your burden with you. My daughter is not yours to claim" with that, Amara walked away from him.
David did nothing but stood there for some time, silent. He sighed deeply as if what he did was finally pressing down on him. He slowly turned and walked away, but his plan is not to give up that easily. Chidima is still his daughter and he has every right to claim her. And he would do exactly just that.
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