“Life doesn’t always give you what you ask for, but it always give you what you need.”- From the book The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari
When a certain situation happens to us, we either feel grateful or we resent why it happened but life always gives us what we need at a certain moment. Everything that happens is a lesson. For years, I have always felt regret towards certain painful experiences I have had in the past because I felt like I did not deserve to go through those experiences. I always hated myself for the choices that I made but gradually I realized the importance of self-forgiveness.
Whenever I look at sunsets, there seems to be some form of mental clarity. I always felt at peace but there were years in my life where in I could not even dare to witness the sunset alone because I feared being alone with my thoughts.
I always enjoy doing my yoga flows whenever the sun is about to set because it gives a sense of clarity and allows me to be in a deep meditative state.
Recently, I talked to @asasiklause about a certain feeling I had, a feeling of hatred and disgust towards a certain person who hurt me in the past. I opened up about how uncomfortable I felt whenever I would see pictures of that person because I would be reminded of the bad experiences I went through and seeing those photos constantly reminded me of the mistake I made. It was nice to be able to open up to a friend regarding this situation I had in my mind. I felt validated and heard knowing that the emotions I felt were normal and valid. However, after our conversation, I realized that I must not dwell on these certain feelings of disgust and hatred for these would only drain the life out of me.
I constantly remind myself that sunsets do not happen everyday for there will be gloomy days in life. However, this does not last forever, we must keep going and allow life to happen, the way it should because that is how we grow.
As @asasiklause would always remind me, "You attract what you manifest." and "Choose who and where to invest your energy." I have always kept his words in my mind because these somehow helped me let go of the feelings of hatred and disgust. I realized that I should not dwell on the negative energy for I might manifest negativity in my life. Feeling that way only drained my energy. I realized that in order minimize energy expenditure, I must only invest my energy on things that grow and on people who support my growth and nothing else.
What happened in the past was a reminder for me that good things are about to happen as long as I constantly attract positive energy. It is also a reminder that there are detours in life, there will be bumpy roads but what matters is I must keep going and I should not let my painful experience get into me. I also realized that my feelings are always valid but it may get toxic when I choose to just keep it to myself and not allow myself to open up to others. Maybe I needed that painful experience in order for me to achieve this certain mental clarity. However, healing is not linear. Healing is not a consistent upward trajectory. There are days where in you may feel like you're back to square one but in reality it is all part of the process. As long as you are consistent in your journey, you are taking the right path.
Now, witnessing sunsets provides a sense of mental clarity. Whenever, I witness sunsets alone, I do not feel lonely anymore because I know that I am at peace with my thoughts and feelings. As what they always say, "Sunsets are a proof that endings could be beautiful too." It's time to close another chapter to give room for newer opportunities. We must embrace every season, every downfall, and every achievement because everything happens to help us grow and prosper.
It really took a lot of courage for me to share my thoughts but I am so glad to be able to share these with all of you. I hope you forgive yourselves for whatever mistake you committed since it is all part of our journey. I also hope that we all have the courage to speak our minds but of course at our own pace. No pressure for we will all soon attain that mental clarity that we deserve. For now, let us continue to live life and cherish every single day.
Disclaimer: All photos were taken by the creator of this blog post. The sunset photos were taken at Samboan, Cebu.
lifewithera is a 22-year old, college senior, an aspiring yogi, a furmom, and a wanderer, who writes stories about her personal life, mental health, fitness, travel, and just anything and everything her heart wants to speak. If you want to get to know her more, then you can connect with her through various social media platforms.
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