A Tex Arcana and Nikk Dazzle Adventure A Short Story by Stella Lovecharm inspired by tweets by @WorstDM
Urban Fantasy, ~8300 words divided into 10 chapters
CW: profanity, violence and death, brief sexual descriptions as metaphor, mentions of alcoholism and caffeine abuse, brief mentions of poverty, body-horror-esq magical physical transformations.
"Mister Arcana, I presume?" the woman asked as she took a seat next to the man dressed as a cowboy.
She wished she could say that he stood out, but out here no one really seemed to stand out compared to anyone else. If anything, she was the odd-duck down here on the streets where neon and led signs glared against the rain-wet streets. Only a handful of people jostled among the crowd in suits and most of those were either worn from too many years of use or poorly-fitted. Professors at the local underfunded colleges trying to ride out until retirement on those last sport coats, men overdressed for court appearances in the hopes that the judge might grant leniency if they looked the part of "fine upstanding citizen," and two-bit hustlers with notions of grandeur all rubbed shoulders with everything from low-end cubicle drones to shock-jock YouTubers to street mages to Paladins down for the evening from their monasteries to minister to the wretched.
Down here, far from her corner office and mid-level condo, her freshly-pressed, well-tailored, pinstripe suit was the rarity.
"You can call me Tex, darlin," the cowboy stated without looking up from his bowl of ramen. Not the cheap shit that she had lived off of in college, but proper rāmen. Good-quality tofu and noodles in miso fish broth. For a moment she regretted having dinner before coming down here; she hadn't expected any of the street vendors to smell anywhere near this good and the $15 veggie burger and fries combo she had washed down with what could only be called a bucket of soda seemed lacking in comparison.
"Of course," she replied with only a hint of sarcasm. He could tell that she thought it was an assumed name and she was at best humoring him.
Her voice was tight and nasally, as if she had spent her entire life indoors and her nostrils had simply chosen to close up entirely rather than allow the hot, wet air of the city to enter them.
She swivelled on the little barstool that had been bolted to an arm sticking out from under the food truck and casually stated "Americano, extra sugar," to the robotic cook as she placed a $5 coin on the counter. It was slightly oversized and clunky with too many scratches and dents but from its general shine and still-white casing in comparison to the dingy, stained, and faded appearance of everything else down here it was clear that whoever had salvaged the old military unit and repurposed it as the cook had cared for the robot well. "...um…'Harry'," she finished as she squinted at the label "H4RR7" stamped on the left side of the "chest" portion of its armoured casing.
The cowboy nodded as he scooped a cube of tofu into his mouth with a wide, shallow ceramic spoon. He had to admit he was impressed at how well she pretended to be at-home on the street.
The machine mixed the beverage quickly and delivered it to the woman in a paper cup with a cardboard sleeve before scooping the coin into a slot in its palm and depositing a dollar coin and a quarter in its place from a slot in its index finger.
"Cover?" she asked as she looked down at the steaming brown liquid.
"nO cOvErs," the robot responded in a synthesized voice that sounded stilted awkward, at once too loud and too quiet. "bAd for ThE enVIRonmEnT."
"Fair enough," she replied as she took a sip and sighed with relief. No doubt she had gone quite a while since her last fix. It would have taken at least an hour to get all the way out here from the higher-end office buildings with the kinda traffic the city usually saw.
"Shall we go someplace more private, Mister Arcana?" the woman asked after a moment of watching the cowboy slurp noodles past his beard and into his mouth. Somehow he managed to keep from spilling the broth down the front of himself and only managed a few speckles of liquid that he wiped off with the palm of his hand.
The man picked up his tiny cup of espresso and downed it in one gulp before setting it back on the counter and gesturing towards the robot. "Another one of these on my tab, Harold ol' boy, and some privacy would you kindly?"
The robot's hands moved quickly as its single blue eye swiveled about to focus on each portion of its task, producing another cup of espresso in a matter of seconds before stating "EnGAging pRIVacY MOdE."
Its arms started to move in unusual, choreographed ways as its fingers gestured about to draw several symbols in the air.
The woman could feel the energy rising around them, crackling like electricity in the air, until the spell released and the sound of the city suddenly faded away to nothing. The cowboy nodded to the robot and raised his tiny cup in thanks as they slowly became encircled in a mystical dome of energy tinted just enough that everyone outside faded to simple grey blurs.
"That oughta do the trick," the cowboy stated with a sly smile.
While most more complex magic required a human to channel the energy of the universe and imbue the spell with a level of pure belief that held it together, some simpler rituals could be fueled by nothing more than the electrical current that powered everything non-magical in the city.
She knew from experience that the spell wouldn't last for more than a few minutes without a human mind to anchor it, so she moved onto business quickly.
"I assume you've read the details of the job that I sent ahead?" she asked simply.
"Sure did," he replied with a sip of his espresso.
"And you believe you can get it done?" she continued.
"I wouldn't sign up for it if I couldn't, ma'am," he stated earnestly as he finally looked at her directly. She was eyeing him intensely like a hawk studying its prey. He could feel her mind probing at him, tapping at his aura in an effort to discern the full extent of his magical ability.
She sipped her coffee and turned away from him. "Forgive me, Mister Arcana," she began as she ran her fingers through her hair before turning back to him "but I don't think your magical ability is quite up to the task."
"Oh, I'll assure you this's well within my wheelhouse," he said in his confident southern drawl. "But I got a friend I intend to take along for backup just in case things go south."
"A friend?" she asked, her eyebrows raised.
"Oh yes, he's the real deal," the cowboy continued as he pushed his thoughts into hers, revealing some of the things he'd seen Nikk do over the years. "A true Magus if ever there was one."
The man in his memories dressed like a clown more than a Wizard and was in many ways acted as ridiculous as he looked, but the acts she saw this Mister Dazzle perform through the cowboy's eyes were beyond skill or talent. This was magic obtainable only by the most diligent of pure studies. Decades of it, lifetimes of it.
And the magic that the cowboy had used to pushed the memories into her head betrayed his own power. She felt it rise sharply as if there was a vast well of magic hidden deep inside him. It quelled as quickly as it had come. It wasn't skilled, not refined or trained, but there was a kind of raw potential for magic within him and it was potent indeed. It gave him an edge that not many would suspect from his aura. Maybe he was the Warlock her contacts had assured her he was, despite this cowboy cosplay he was putting on.
He certainly wouldn't be the first Magicker she'd met with a unique style. She'd worked with Wizards who liked to dress as janitors, Witches who dressed like 1950's housewives, and even one Necromancer who preferred to go around in a full furry costume. She'd honestly never seen the person's face and couldn't tell you from the high-pitched cartoon character voice they put on what their gender was.
"Alright, you're in," she stated simply. "Contract remains the same as discussed. Forty-five for the job, paid upon completion. Split it however you want."
"Fifty," he replied without skipping a beat. "Divides more evenly," he added with a kindly smile. "Wouldn't wanna have to get into an argument with a friend over something as petty as money."
She sighed before replying "Done, the rest of the details are on this pad," as she pulled a small e-ink tablet out of her pocket and placed it face-down on the counter next to his bowl.
The woman mumbled something that sounded like Old English as she waved her hands through the magical barrier and it evaporated away, the sounds and sights of the city flooding in instantly.
"Keep the change Harry," she said as she grabbed her coffee off the counter and started to walk away.
"tHaNK yOu Ma'AM," the robot synthed out as it scooped the remaining coins into its palm. "cOMe aGaIN."
"Thank ya kindly," the cowboy stated to her backside as she made her way into the crowd.
"Thank me by getting it done, Mister Arcana!" she shouted without turning around, waving her hand above her in a casual "goodbye."
***
The man was dressed in a dollar-store magician's costume, something like a tuxedo but poorly made out of a rigid polyester blend that looked more like plastic than fabric. He waved his arms around dramatically as he moved, one white-gloved hand clutching a cheap black cardboard "wand" and the other constantly checking to make sure his polyester top hat was still on straight.
"Alright, put your card back into the deck," he said as he backed a step away from the sweaty tourist, his sweaty tourist wife, and their two sweaty tourist children. No one ever expected Minnesota to be so humid in the summer. It had taken Tex himself years to adjust to the sensation of the air being so "thick" year-round despite the fact that the actual temperature never made it anywhere near the kinda summer temps they used to see back home.
Tex had tried scrying for the man, but it hadn't done any good. The pendant had kept launching violently between pointing directly at this intersection on the map and sticking straight up into the air. He had ultimately decided to check the corner of 7th and Nicollet where the thing had pointed and then follow-up with some of the Magician's other haunts if he wasn't there.
"Now, light the entire deck on fire," he said as he tossed a cheap bic lighter at the man and nodded towards the nearby unlinered metal trash bin.
"Um...alright," the tourist stated as he held the cards over the bin carefully and lit one corner. They went up quickly and he dropped them into the bin after only a few seconds. It burned away for another moment or two but was quickly reduced to ashes and smoke.
"Alright, aaaannnddd…" the Magician drew out as he moved his hands complexly and produced a card from inside his sleeve with a flick. "Is this your card?!" he finished triumphantly as he held it up for the man and his wife to see.
"That's...that's amazing," the man stated in awe.
"How did you do that?" his wife asked, her eyes wide with amazement. Despite the fact that magic was very much a real and known force in the world, most non-casters tended to think that it was practiced solely by university professors, corporate mages, and army sorcerers and were usually massively surprised to actually meet a seemingly normal person who practiced the arts.
"Magic," Nikk stated with a sly smile as he pulled off his hat to reveal his expanse of round head topped with an outcrop of black hair and bowed for the applauding crowd.
"Please! Please put any donations for the show in the hat!" he stated with the modesty of a ringleader as he held out the hat for several people to drop coins into.
"And now, for my final trick," he stated as he put his hat back on with the money still in it, pulled it off again without so much as a quarter falling out, and reached in to produce two chocolate bars which he tossed to the children, "a surprise for the kids!"
"Wow!" the boy shouted over the second round of applause as he ripped his bar opened.
"Thank you, thank you," the Magician said as he put the hat back onto his head and bowed again. "You're too kind."
"Thanks!" the girl stated with a gleeful smile.
"Now, now, don't ruin your dinner," the mother said as she quickly grabbed the candy bars and stuffed them in your purse to the twin whines of the children.
"You can have them later," she offered as the crowd started to dissipate.
***
"Man, I dunno how you always manage to look even more like a kid dressed up for Halloween than the last time I saw you," Tex said with a shake of his head. The last time he'd seen Nikk he was performing in a gaudy purple wizard's costume complete with a pointy hat covered in stars. Somehow, this was actively worse.
"You're one to talk, you look like a McCree cosplayer that didn't have enough money for the arm," Nikk shot back quickly as he examined the other man's outfit.
Tex merely shrugged noncommittally. Between the poncho, the beard, and the cowboy hat it was hard to deny. He covered his belt quickly with his hand, trying to make the stance look casual, when he realized the Magician was looking at it.
He wasn't exactly proud of the "BAMF" belt buckle, but when he saw it at the consignment shop where he got second-hand jeans on the cheap he hadn't been able to help himself.
More than once he'd caught himself in the mirror on the way out of his apartment, drawn his pistol at himself, and stated under his breath "it's hiiiiiiiigh noon!" as dramatically as he could.
So far he'd managed to restrain himself from actually firing off a shot but he was deeply afraid that one of these days he would get a little too drunk in the morning or a little too caffeine-jittery at night and he'd have to deal with a very unpleasant visit from an angry neighbor, his super, and the cops. Most of his work happened at night and most of his downtime during the day hours so his alcohol/coffee schedule was generally inverted compared to most people, but one way or another he was almost always on something and really it was only a matter of time.
"Uh huh," Nikk grunted with a sly smile.
"Nice trick, how'd you do it?" Tex asked, hoping to change the subject, as he fought his natural inclination to blush. "Hypnosis cantrip to trick him into picking the card you hid up your sleeve?"
"Naw, nothing so complex," the Magician replied. "Just read his top-layer of thoughts and manifested an illusory card to match," he continued as he reached into his hat and pulled out what looked like a playing card adorned with a pinup of an attractive goth Tex had passed in the street on the way over. He had nodded to her and greeted "ma'am" as he tipped the brim of his hat, to which she had giggled and rolled her eyes.
"Interesting," Nikk commented as he turned the card to look at it. "Someone you know?"
"Not really," Tex replied as emotionlessly as he could, fighting another blush that he hoped his beard covered.
"Shame," the Magician stated as he shook the card and it evaporated into a puff of smoke that dissipated into nothingness. "Attractive one, maybe you should get to know her."
"She's…" he started while his eyes rolled up into his head, revealing nothing but whites. Tex knew from experience that the was channelling the zeitgeist that ran over the surface of the city, his mind racing out across the invisible web of information that linked human lives together. It acted as the temporary memory of society; if the Akashic Record was the hard drive of reality, then the zeitgeist was its RAM. "A fan of that noodle stand you like," he stated finally before his eyes rolled back into their normal position.
"In fact, she's there right now," he finished. "Nine, about an hour after you usually go there. That's her normal time."
Tex simply let the information lay without comment as he watched the other man start to count the heftier coins out of his hat.
"And the hat?" he asked. "A forcefield in the top to keep stuff in place?"
"No, just a simple dimensional bubble tethered to the brim," he replied while he started in on the quarters.
They stood awkwardly for a moment while the other man continued counting. Tex supposed that he should have gotten used to the vast difference between the their definitions of "simple" when it came to magic but it often still shocked him just what the Magician could do casually sometimes.
"Thirty-four seventy-five," he stated finally as he dropped the remaining coins in his hand back into the hat. "Not a bad take for an hour's street magic."
"Make it a solid thirty-five, pardner," Tex stated as he fished a quarter out of his pocket and flicked it into the hat with a sly smile.
"Thankya kindly," the other man replied in a poor imitation of the Warlock's accent before he spun the hat around and placed it back on his head dramatically.
"Technically, my head's in another dimension when I'm wearing it," he stated matter-of-factly.
"Huh," Tex grunted. That explained why he had been so difficult to track. He wasn't even entirely in this realm.
"So, what brings you to my humble corner? Hustling at the arcade?" he asked with a nod towards one of the nearby storefronts.
He had made a decent amount of money over the years betting tourists over various quickdraw and zombie-shooting games at the local arcades. It had gotten him through more than once when business was slow.
"Got a job," the Warlock said simply.
"Really?" Nikk replied with a raise of his eyebrows. It had been quite a while. "Do tell."
***
"Well, we ain't climbin' it, that's for damn sure," Tex stated as he eyed up the brick wall. They could both feel the energy radiating off of it. This was more than a mystic alarm system, by a lot. No doubt it'd fry them to dust if they so much as touched it.
The Warlock shifted around uncomfortably as he noticed the black dust lining the sidewalk and couldn't help but wonder how many random people and animals had made contact with the wall already.
"Don't worry, I got it," Nikk stated as he started to move his hands around in complex motions. Ribbons of energy formed around his fingertips, slowly spreading into a series of delicate geometric shapes that flew off of his hands and attached themselves to the wall.
Steadily, a hole began to form in the wall as it seemed to bend around itself.
"That oughta do it," the Magician stated once an opening big enough for a human to duck through had been created. It was like a donut had been placed in the wall and Tex could tell that Nikk had bent the wall around itself, folding its space inward so that it stretched out in directions it wasn't meant to and forming a "hole" in it as a result. "After you, good sir," he continued with a welcoming gesture through the opening.
The job was simple enough. The suit represented one of the many companies that dealt in power-syncs, something like batteries for magical work. Their Clairvoyant division had sensed a build-up of magical energy at this building, far more than anyone would ever create just doing routine spells and rituals. On top of that, a new black-market magical source had started to hit the streets, something potent that the street wizards were really loving, and it was helping to drive their profits down. Rather than risk their own people on dealing with the problem they had opted to hire "outside contractors" to stamp out the potential competition and, to a lesser extent, perform a public good by protecting a significant portion of their customer base from blowing up thanks to amateur energy work.
It wasn't as uncommon as you'd hope. A few times a year a place like this went up in flames when someone did their calculations wrong and