Well, talking about inspiration, it's just so obvious I don't really need to look far, I actually do not need to crack my brain to scan for the various books I've read, or a celebrity I had or hadn't met. Who's that person who really inspires me? well you might have guessed right, yes, it's my mum. The woman who carried me through every phases and stages of life, the one woman who never gets tired.
There was a period in my life when life was the other way round for me. It was a very delicate period for me. It was a period I thought I'd never survive. That period almost swallowed me. I was weak, sick, tired and all, even I had to wish to just go, I was tired of all the pains and stuffs I was going through. I wanted things to just end. But then, in all of that, my mother stood, she was present, she never got tired of going on her knees to pray, she stood by me strongly like a mountain.
It was not the loud or stage type of inspiration, no, but from the quiet display and show of strength and faith. She would stand by me and life me up at times that I was to weak to even lift a finger. She would hold my hands and pray for me. She would keep in reassuring me even at moments when the doctors would have anything positive to say. And anytime I finally he to rest and sleep. My mum would still be up, watching over me as if that's what would bring a positive result and hasten my recovery. There were even times I would pretend or have slept so she could rest her head too, but this woman wouldn't sleep. She would be busy mouthing some words of prayers or other times trying to help massage my legs and hand. Stress would be written all over her face but her spirit wouldn't give in.
And guess what, what inspires me most isn't even the way she cared for me, it was the way she carried her own burden silently as if it was nothing. A lot of times she's had to skip meals, countless times she's going up and down to get me drugs and all an then there are bills even she doesn't have an idea how she's going to sort. I have watched her wipe her tears away a lot of times so I wouldn't see them and fell guilty. She has all of those burdens and weight on her, yet she still smiles at me and reassuring me at every slight opportunity, "You will definitely get through this."
Her words are always with holding on to. True strength obviously isn't the absence of fear or pain but the decision to keep going despite it. She's the proof of true strength. Keep going, even when it's dark,and even when it does not look like it, don't give in.
Today, those lessons follow me. And whenever life seems to be to heavy, I would recall her face in those painful nights, holding onto me as I was falling apart. I would remind myself of all her sacrifices, her sayings and all. Even though it looked small and invisible it was the foundation in which my survival was built.
Till date, my mother remains the most inspirational person in my life. Not that her life was perfect, no. But she was the truth definition of a mother, she lives a selfless life. She taught me a lot, not really by words, but by her actions. She taught me love, care, kindness and strength. And if I ever inspire someone, then it's because she (my mum) inspired me first.
All pictures are mine.
Thanks for taking your time to read through.