I can vividly remember those times when I was still young, especially when I just owned a phone. My mom would ask me who I was calling, who it was I was chatting with, and the like. My mom would even go through my cupboard, and if I asked her why, she would either say she was looking for her wrapper or helping me arrange, which of course isn't true.
And as of then, I didn't like it at all; it felt as if she hated me, or like she didn't trust me. She would question me over simple things like a biro or pencil if it did not look like the ones she bought for me. I didn't like it then; it was later I realized she was just being a mother. She was scared of the mistakes I could possibly make. And in her own little way, she was just protecting me.
And like every parent would ask, do kids actually need privacy? Yes, but gradually, with supervision and limits. Children are like seeds; you grow them, nurture them, and protect them against weeds and the like. The same goes for kids too; they need guidance and protection, and just as seeds need their own space to grow and need some sort of sunlight, so also these kids need space to grow and thrive, but then they shouldn't be all covered and too exposed as well; if not, they get damaged.
The open door policy where parents check and monitor what the child is up to only works when these kids are still young. They are in the stage where they really need protection, and we need to provide it. A little child who's alone inside is rarely doing a good deed; either he/she is playing with something that can harm her or he/she is wasting her milk, scattering her cloth, and the like. Those stages need parents to always be alert. But then, it wouldn't continue forever; as they grow older, you reduce your hold and check on them as well. You can't possibly treat a 5-year-old child the same way you would a 16-year-old, unless you want trouble.
Privacy should be given little by little. I remember when I started using a phone, my dad would always ask me to open the door to my room every time. I think it was so he could monitor me and see if I was sleeping or busy pressing my phone; he would just come quietly to check. If he found out that I had slept, he would help close the door, and if I hadn't and he caught me, that's another thing on its own. It was later I started closing and even locking my door. It was all meant to show us that privacy isn't about hiding away from family but trusting and respecting one another.
If you control a child too much, just be sure you are creating a child who keeps secrets, hides, and lies. They will do things you won't believe they could or knew about. Also, they shouldn't be left in the open early, as exposure would definitely lead to influence, and most of the time, it's bad influences.
There should also be a great relationship between parents and their children. Parents should communicate to their kids why they really need to check in at times, and the children as well should be made to feel safe so they could confide in them without the fear of being punished, embarrassed, or harassed. A child who places his/her full trust in his/her parents will see such privacy and all as a chance to grow.
Some may argue that we are all different and things are done differently in different places. I agree with that, but you won't also disagree with me that children need both safety and freedom. Parents really need to try their best not to extend it beyond supervision, because once it turns or starts looking like control, believe me, you won't have it easy.
Looking back now, I understand why those things were done. And when I have kids too, I would make them understand that I so much respect their privacy, but that I also want to be there for them. The key is just to find the balance, as you will agree with me that this kid needs privacy, and they also need guidance.
All pictures are mine.
Thanks for taking your time to read through, kindly do well to stop by my blog for more amazing, educative and exclusive contents...
Posted Using INLEO