In my house, we have this dream that was beyond our reach. And believe me, I'm not even exaggerating. My parents, especially my dad, were very disciplined and strict people. I don't know; maybe it's because he's in the educational line. We are all five, and in my house none of us could own, buy, or even be gifted a phone. If you work and do some little work to get one, or somebody bought it for you, just know it is gone. My dad will seize it, and there's nothing you will do about it. Not until you are done with SS3 and you have good grades in your WAEC result. Back then it didn't sit right with us; it was later I realized that it was a kind of ritual that shaped us as we grew up.
And it wasn't just the phone rule. We also have vigil's every Friday night and fastings every Wednesday. It's not the kind of loud ones no, we would just be on our sit, sometimes pacing around the sitting room to pray, only the gentle sound of steps or the little whispers of prayers will be heard. We do so so as not to disturb neighbors. There are times my dad would make some kind of sounds in prayer.m and we would all look up at him and tried hard to not laugh out. Those vigil's goes beyond just asking for God's blessings, they were our way of sharing our worries, of being together, of talking to God, and raising prayer points.
My elder brother would always act like it didn't bother him, but then I do see him sneaking at our neighbors son to check what he was doing and what was going on online. My elder sister too, she would return from school and start saying things as if she saw it, she would download the latest trend, topics, music's and all to her brain and come home at noon to pour it out for us. She would even make up new ones, just to prove to us she's offline, but still current/updated. And me, what can I do, those who are older than me didn't own one, so who am I to worry, I would just bury myself in my books and pretend not to care.
All of those moments taught us to be patient and focused. I remember some times when we would argue about who would go bring Mum's phone without her noticing so we could be able to do our assignments. We would put it on silent so it would not ring out, we would do what we wanted to do, and we would quickly return it. Sometimes she would even be looking for it, and we would join her in the search; it was fun. There are times we would be praying, and one of us would intentionally make a kind of sound and have us all trying not to laugh.
We would study hard to make sure we had very good results at the end of the day; we would play, pray, and study together. And when the results were finally out, we were always glad to be allowed to make use of a phone. It always feels like we won, like it was something we achieved. It does feel like it's something we worked hard for and ended up earning.
The very first time I had a phone of my own, I understood it wasn't about the games, movies, apps, chatting, and all. It was about self-control, focus, and the patience we had while waiting. That was one of the reasons I am never the type to get too attached and also one of the reasons I would always look out for what can contribute to my life and what I use my phone to do that would help me or someone around me. Also, the prayer sessions and fastings, I can say, have helped us stay grounded and have now become a part of us.
In my family, that phone rule, compulsory Wednesday fast, and every Friday prayer weren’t just rules; they were the rituals that shaped us, taught us, helped us to focus, and are still carrying us till today. And that’s why I hold them dearly.
All pictures are mine.
Thanks for taking your time to read through.