Well, this job offer came, and it felt like an answered prayer. It was as if that door I had been knocking on for a long time had finally opened. It was an overseas company, and what can I do? With it came good pay, a good life, a house, and some other benefits. I was very, very happy. With a smile on my face, I began to read further, not until I saw something that made me freeze: "Family can only join you after two years." I read it again, trying to assure myself that I had read it wrong earlier, but it was the same.
Two whole years I would have to stay away from my wife and kids. I had smiled and shouted hallelujah earlier, but now I don't even know. I don't know if I was really ready for that kind of an open door that requires that my family still stay outside for a while. And that's the thing about most of us: we often celebrate breakthroughs and most times forget that they come at a price; this time it's an emotional price.
Well, I had to go, and I can tell you for free that it's for my family's sake. Things have not been going well, and here's an opportunity that will change our lives for the better. The day I left, I wasn't myself. I had to tell my wife to not escort me to the airport because it would be a little worse there. She stood at the door and waved me goodbye. I could see she couldn't take it; she had to step further to the gate with her already teary eyes. My son, on the other hand, ran after the car and was shouting, "Daddy please don't go." I just waved and forced a smile. I had to look away before he saw the tears already making their way down my cheeks. Before boarding the plane, I just stood and rested my back on the wall, then I closed my eyes and whispered a prayer, "God, please, keep my family safe and let this be all worth it."
And I can tell you for free that leaving home wasn't about chasing money; it was about chasing a future, a future where my family wouldn't struggle, where my kids won't have to face the same thing that I experienced while growing up, but even though I was so determined, that small voice wouldn't stop coming; it kept saying, *"You've gone too far."
Well, I arrived and resumed work, but then, it wasn't easy; the first few months were hard. The cold was nothing to write home about; the calmness and quietness in my room was another thing on its own. I would go to work wearing a smile and come back in the evening all exhausted. I would only scroll through my phone gallery to view my kids and wife's pictures till sleep would take me away.
I was so lonely, and that loneliness began to breed doubt. Not only that, but I began to think maybe I had made the wrong choice, maybe I wasn't as strong as I thought I was, and maybe I had chosen ambition over family/love. Negative thoughts wouldn't stop creeping in as well, and it kind of stole my peace slowly......
One evening, I was on a video call with my wife. I had shown her the food I was eating, and she had laughed at how bad a cook I was. She said something, and that word stayed with me; it made me realize that love can't be limited by distance; it's even the best time for the love to survive and thrive: "Don't worry, we're proud of you; we miss you though, but then, we are holding on." That evening, before I fell asleep, I wrote some things down, and they were things that I was grateful for. One was family, two was the good health/protection of me and my family, and lastly was my job. And slowly I began to appreciate even the little things.
And with time, I began to notice and pay attention to even the beauty in small things...the various video calls, the neighbor that's always offering to help, the joy in seeing little kids play in my community, and all. I came to the realization that gratitude goes beyond just being a feeling; it's more of a decision, a decision to see blessings in disguise. What weakens love is not absence; it's forgetting why you left or why you took a certain decision in the first place.
Well, I am glad to tell you that it's now one year and seven months. I haven't stopped the countdown, and each and every day I kept reminding myself I was doing this for family. And if I could choose again, I would still go for the job, not because it's easy but because it has taught me that even when love goes far away, it can still come back home stronger and more understanding.