A Birds and the Bees Conversation I Wasn’t Ready For
Hello @motherhood it has been a little while I do apologise been a little busy but getting back to some of my normal routines. I hope you have all been well and being the best parents you can be through all the ups and downs we go through. I recently was hit with something that As parents, we all know that one day the tricky questions will come. But I’ll be honest I thought I had at least a few more years before my eight-year-old cornered me with one of those conversations.
It started on the way home from school in the car with a simple conversation based in Math.
The conversation we all know is coming but are never prepared for
Tahlia: “Daaaaaad, today I learned my birthday is EXACTLY nine months after yours.”
Me: “Three days short, yah. Where’s this going?”
Tahlia: “WHAT did you do on your birthday?”
Me: “I blew out my candles and made a wish for a beautiful baby girl called Tahlia.”
Tahlia: “No you didn’t.”
Me: “Yes I did.”
Tahlia: “Did you blow the candles out with Mum?”
Me: “Hmmmm… where’s this going?”
Tahlia: “I know.”
Me: “…go ask your mum.”
And just like that, I realised I had stumbled into the Birds and the Bees minefield completely unprepared.
Parenting doesn't come with a script
I don’t know about you but when I imagined “the talk,” I pictured my child being much older maybe 11 or 12. I’d have a neat little explanation prepared, some books handy, maybe even a parenting podcast recommendation up my sleeve. Instead, I found myself staring at my eight year old who had just worked out enough math to know there was more to her birthday story than cake and candles.
I wasn’t sure whether to dive into an age appropriate explanation or keep things light. Do I tell her the truth in kid friendly terms? Or do I hold off a little longer, letting her curiosity naturally lead the way? Like how do you handle it?
Is it easier for boys or because I am male I would find it easier to talk to my son about it? is this best suited to mum and daughter discussions? I was not ready nor prepared! especially right after school pick up!
I chose humour (and deflection to Mum). Was it the right call? I honestly don’t know. What I do know is that these moments are reminders that kids are much more observant and curious than we give them credit for. Despite us also once being their age!
I guess It’s okay not to have all the answers. Parenting isn’t about delivering a perfect TED Talk every time your child asks a big question. It’s about being present and listening and they know when you find something uncomfortable.
What I would like to know, to the parents who have gone through this. How did you handle it?
What advice would you give other parents?
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