Behavioral Traits: Within or Influenced?

I’ve always wondered what really makes a person good or bad. Is it the way they were raised? Is it something already written in their blood before they ever took their first breath? Or is it the life they walk into, the people, the pain, the choices? Because if we’re being honest, life doesn’t always follow the script. We’ve seen kind, empathetic souls come from homes that were anything but gentle. We’ve also seen cruelty and wickedness from people raised with nothing but love. It makes you pause and think: What really shapes us? Some say it’s parenting. That if you raise a child in love, with discipline and values, they’ll turn out right. And yes, parenting plays a huge role. The way you speak to a child, the things you expose them to, the way you respond to their emotions,the way the parent relate to each other, how the father talks to the mother, how the mother talks to the father and even how the parent relate to extended family members and people in the society, all of it matters. But is it everything?  _{I generated this image by prompting meta Ai} Because what about the child who grew up surrounded by kindness and still chose bitterness? Or the one who was abandoned, abused, and neglected, yet grew into someone who heals others? There’s no exact blueprint. No guaranteed formula for producing a “good human.” If there was, every parent would cling to it, and the world would probably be a softer place. But the truth? Life is complex. People are layered. And human behaviour isn’t always predictable. What I’ve come to believe is that, we are all born with different characters and behaviors inside us. Some are gentle, some are fiery, some are selfish, some are giving. Our environments, our homes, experiences, relationships , either kill or nuture those behaviours. For instance, someone who has it in him to be a very stubborn and wayward person starts to live in an environment that almost all the people there live wayward lives definitely the person will become wayward. But at the end of the day, we also get to choose which ones we let grow.  _{I generated this image by prompting meta Ai} You can’t fully control who a person becomes. Not even your child. You can guide, teach, pray, pour out your best but people still grow into their own minds. They still become who they decide to be. And for some people controlling them or imposing things on them in the wrong way makes them worse. I’ve seen siblings raised in the same home turn out completely different. One grows up grateful, kind-hearted, and grounded. The other? Angry, reckless, sometimes even dangerous. Same parents. Same rules. Same everything. What changed? Maybe it was what they chose to carry from the lessons. Maybe it was a moment, a wound, a turning point they never spoke of. But here’s what I believe consistency matters. Presence matters. Honesty matters. Being an example matters. Not perfection, but presence. Children notice more than we think. They mirror what we live, not just what we say So maybe the goal isn’t to “guarantee” goodness in others. Maybe it’s to be the kind of person that plants good seeds in children, in friends, in strangers. Maybe it’s to live with the understanding that love can change people, but it doesn’t always save them. And that doesn’t mean you failed. What we can do is raise children, and live our lives in a way that honours kindness, self-control, compassion, and accountability. We can create environments where good things have the chance to grow. That’s all we can truly offer, a chance. The rest is up to the person.