Photography is something I only ever take a break from when I absolutely have to. Even then, while stuck inside I'm finding myself watching things, looking at other people's photography, and generally finding inspiration for what I could do next. It's a hobby that feels more like an addiction, something more like an itch that never goes away no matter how much I scratch at it. Recently I got a little bit sick and it stopped me from getting out as much, as did the intense heat here where it is quite dangerous to run around the streets all day under such strong sunlight. Though, once I do finally get back out after a bit of a break, I do feel a bit of that performance pressure. I almost feel like I am starting to doubt myself and my abilities. As if I have to warm up again over a few days of shooting.
I felt this the other day when I went outside for photography for the first time in several weeks, and it was a strange feeling. Like I knew generally what I could shoot, but everything seemed a bit uncertain. That feeling like each shot could've been a bit better. Perhaps a better composition, or better lighting in the area, or perhaps just better awareness of the surroundings in the first place.I doubted which lens I should be using as I walked the streets, using the 35mm lens primarily, and then at a festival later making the decision to swap between that and the 85mm with no real intent. I could see the compositions around me, but dialing in the settings and such felt like it took a bit more time, I guess it would be similar to a painter that hasn't held a paint brush in a while and suddenly picks one up, only to have to re-configure that hand-to-eye gestural movement in a painterly way.
And I knew it wasn't the city. I knew it wasn't starving me of potential images. It felt thriving, full of unique things. And these images still show that, I think. From the vibrancy of the colours people wear, to the odd sights along the roads: car crashes in the centre, strange tri-bike type things that had been imported from Japan. And the last image which I do think is a great one: a man at a wine festival advertising the wine, though a woman looking directly at him with that text really telling a completely different story entirely. Days like these I can tell that I just need to warm up again, to get back into the swing of things and just accept that I might not feel like I have it yet. And that's normal in photography; some days you come home with absolutely nothing. Some days you come home with pure gold. And other days you just feel like you're total shit at the hobby.
It still feels really good to get out there and get back into it all. I have missed it. Perhaps it's a sign to mix things up a bit more and push the creativity elsewhere. Maybe a new lens. Maybe just shooting different subjects entirely.