Growth Without Losing Myself

Growth sometimes might look invisible; it may seem unnoticed by you, especially when it's not about your physical height and other physical features but about your personality. However, one thing I am sure of is that for the past years of our existence in life, growth has taken place in different aspects of our lives, either for good or bad. In fact, we will continue to experience growth until the day we stop existing. I think it's important that once in a while, we observe a personal reflection to really understand better how much we are growing.  ***** Sometimes, life can force one to change her dreams and future aspirations to something entirely different, but yet the person still experiences growth regardless. Personally, the life I live today, 20 years back, if you told me I would end up even with my course of study and what I do for a living currently, I wouldn't process such information, but then, life happened, but I am glad that regardless of the changes in my dreams, I am still experiencing positive growth in my personality and life in general, and that's what matters, right? I am better than yesterday, than last month, than last year, etc. ***** If I should look back fifteen to twenty years ago, considering everything that's happened to me and the big decisions I've had to make, obviously I am no longer the same person as yesterday. If my past self from years ago saw me now, maybe she would recognize me with my face, with the way I smile, and with how committed a Christian I was those past years, which hasn't changed, but in many other sides of my life, she wouldn't recognize me any longer. She wouldn't recognize the many choices I have made that have shaped my present self, the unspoken battles I have fought without tearing apart but standing strong, unlike me many years ago, who would replace where I should stand up and take charge of what is facing me but rather complain, cry, and feel overwhelmed by circumstances without taking the needed action.  ***** A lot has changed about my personality for good; I see the much growth, and I am loving the woman I have become. ***** Do you know what it means to feel entitled? I used to score that habit A1 those years as a young girl. Not getting what I felt I was entitled to makes me rage! I was so bitter and angry and could question you for denying me whatever it is until I had an encounter with my big brother, who opened my eyes to the realities of life. Today, I am diligently teaching my children never to feel entitled to anything from anyone, be it your friends or your aunties and uncles. It was an attitude and also a habit I wasn't proud of back then. The way I have changed from this mentality, I don't even remember that it's the responsibility of my husband to take care of me, no! Enough of over expectations from people; I do things like I am nobody's responsibility, with no atom of entitlement to anyone, and that lifestyle pushes me to work hard for myself and be happy.  ***** There are diverse ways I have grown better in the past fifteen years, which, if I begin to pinpoint all of that, I could write a term paper here, but in all, I can highlight two major turning points in my life where many things changed about me. One was the time I stood my ground and made my family budgets our priority, without having to keep sacrificing my kids' school fees over financial requests from other family members. ***** I got myself and my husband to say no to such a life even when it was difficult for him to ignore certain requests and make his family his top priority. But you see that single NO that faithful afternoon by me; it made other future NOs super easier, and we began to reclaim our peace and do things for others without any pressure from anyone. Secondly, the moment I boldly reclaimed my voice in my home, many other things encountered change too, and I live peacefully with mutual respect; it was something I craved! ***** You see, every single day in life, we are being exposed to something new capable of changing our life's perspectives, even our beliefs. The way we saw things years back will change, and as for me, it's been a good change without losing myself in the process. ## Images are mine