Source.

—Excuse me, ma'am. Could you tell me the time? —

—With pleasure, it's eight forty-five. —

—Thank you very much. — I said, while pressing the step to be late for a medical appointment I had.

I was feeling a little lost with the notion of time, since I had left the phone at home when I left in a hurry in the morning.

When I arrived at the building, there was a queue of people waiting to get on the elevator, and I decided to go up the five floors by the staircase, since I don't like to be late. When I reached the corridor of the floor where the office was, I took the air thoroughly, held it for a few seconds and then let it escape in a leisurely way; I did that three times and then knocked on the door.

—Hello, Bear, welcome, you look a little agitated. —

—Good morning, I went up the stairs, it's just that I left the phone before leaving for here, and on the way I got distracted taking some photos. And as I didn't know the time, I asked a lady, and she told me that it was a quarter to nine, and I pressed the pace and went up the stairs so as not to be late. —

— It's still early, according to my watch, it's ten minutes to the hour. But don't worry, it happens. —

—I imagine you're not going to charge me the fraction of the hour. —

—Bear, I'm a therapist, not a loan shark. —

At that moment we both laughed.

I had decided to visit a psychologist, because of the pressure that my partner was exerting. She wanted me to deal with some personal problems that had to do with the levels of demand, pride and the ability to forgive and accept the mistakes of others, and maybe even my own.

The truth is that the process of going to talk to a therapist was very uncomfortable for me, more with the personal vision I have, of always resolving family and personal situations without help. It's the blessed problem of the ego: I help everyone, but I don't need anyone's help; it's the process of feeling like the pillar that holds the house.

Anyway, after several meetings, both the therapist and I have come to the conclusion that I have two situations that I need to work on urgently, in order to move on to solving other scenarios that I needed to improve.

—You know, Bear, I think you should accept the thanks and apologies that your neighbor constantly gives you. —

—Really, Natalia, I have nothing to talk to that lady. In addition, I do not forget the gossip and inventions that that woman made when I was in the condominium of the building; in fact, I was even going to sue her and I did not do it because of the intervention of the women of my family. I prefer to stay as I am. — -Yes, you told me about the problems she caused with gossip and that she mistreated you and your name, which is almost sacred to you, in a public chat. - She commented.

— I haven't spoken to her for years, and now you ask me to accept her thanks, to treat her and to receive the cakes and sweets that she brings to the house. You don't seem to be serious. - I answered.

—Yes, I know that you don't talk to her, I also know that you don't get in the elevator with her, since she once said that you were making out with her, and the only reason you didn't have legal problems was because of the internal cameras of the elevator; I know all that.

But I also know that when she was being robbed and her friends left that woman alone, you saw what was happening and you confronted the thief, who could have hurt you with the knife he had in his hand; you hit him, he ran out and she was able to get to his house with her belongings.

Now, if you faced a thief and risked your life to help her, why is it so hard for you to forgive her, accept the thanks and the sweets and cakes she takes you?

That's the only way she has to get closer to you and ask for forgiveness, but you keep punishing her, even after you've risked your life to help her. That is nonsense; your ego, your pride and your arrogance do not allow you to move forward. —Natalia said.

—Really, I don't know if it's worth accepting anything from that lady, but if that makes you happy, I'll greet her, tell her to have a nice day, that she has nothing to be grateful for and not to keep bringing me sweets or cakes that I won't eat. Would that, accepting it, make you feel better? — I asked in an ironic tone.

—Bear, you are so annoying when you think you are right, that you become an insufferable and annoying being. — She replied in a more serious tone.

—I'm supposed to accept and forgive a woman who accused me of being a thief, who said I tried to grope her, who commented that I had robbed my neighbors, without evidence or anything. Just for making the mistake of saving her from being robbed and beaten up.

Really. I think it would have been better to leave her to her fate. Thanks to that act of redneck heroism, I am now going through that martyrdom at home, and I also pay a therapist to martyr me with the same thing outside of her.

Besides, in what other case have I been right, according to you? I acted badly and I must also continue to forgive. — Answer me now, sulky.

—The other case that you mentioned to me that bothered you, and that you told me yourself, that although you knew you were right, you were so upset by the fact that a healer or curator of one of the networks where you write named your grandmother.

It seemed to you a lack of respect, and it is acceptable, and you complained and they responded, but since your grandmother, who was one of the people who raised you, had little time left after she died, you clung to that anger like a dog does to a bone and you were not satisfied with the apologies.

You stopped writing there, which is a space that you liked; in addition, you recommended that space or community in your AMAs, and later, an acquaintance of yours was accused of writing with AI, and at that time there were several people complaining about AI, which had nothing to do with your problem, and not only did you get into that problem, but you brought up your grandmother's, over and over again, since you were very upset that a person named her after having died.

A lady apologized to you, several times, and you continued to be upset, with the blessed curator, until you caused a rupture in the relationship of respect that you yourself said you felt for that lady, since you saw her as responsible and respectful in the community.

The problem is that your ego dominates you when you get upset; the problem is that you are very proud; the problem is that, even if you are right, there are cases where you let yourself be carried away by your pride and your lack of humility.

And you must learn to be humble, to accept others as they are; you must learn to forgive, in order to begin to change the radical attitudes that you have.

You know well that those who lead that community are Gringos, and they are very, very different from us culturally, at the level of treatment, communication and family relationships; in addition, they communicate through a blessed translator. That may mean that the comment that upset you was in a different tone than the one you perceived when you read it.

And the underlying problem is not whether or not you are right; the problem is that the radical attitudes and positions you take are not healthy for you, and sometimes they are not healthy for the people around you either. — Said Natalia, very serious.

—Okay, Dr. Heart, what do you want me to do to start improving my life and change my proud and bothersome attitudes? — I commented.

—Just do two simple tasks, one live in front of other people. I want you to go up to the neighbor, apologize to her for ignoring her; I want you to tell her that she doesn't need to thank you or take things with her. Tell her the reason why you are upset with her, treat her well and close that relationship once and for all.

Tell her, if that's what you really feel, that you prefer not to have any contact with her, but the community ones and those of education and good customs of our culture.

And if you want to explain them to him, that is to say: “Good morning, good afternoon, greeting in the elevator, helping him if he comes with a bag or with weight”. But let her understand that it's something that you do with everyone, but that there is no and that you don't want any kind of deal beyond that with her.

Do it in front of other neighbors, politely and politely, since everyone knows what the fault is that she committed with you and with other people. What you're doing with that is closing a process, and besides you're going to subdue your ego and you're going to learn a little humility. — Natalia said.

— I don't like the idea, not in the least. But I promise to do it. What's more, I will try to record the conversation and let her talk, and I will tie my dogs inside my inner dungeon. What's the second thing you want? — I said.

—You must learn to swallow your pride and learn to be humble. Now, I ask you to write in the community whatever you want; it doesn't matter if they vote for you, or if they attack you, or if anything negative happens that you have in your head.

You used to enjoy writing there; even the lady on two occasions told you not to stop writing. But since you're the Bear, and you're fucked up, you always have to do what you say, whether you're wrong or not.

In that relationship, you both made a mistake; one person named a relative of yours who had just died, and you held on to that too to mitigate your pain and your frustration.

But that's already happened; now write there when you get the first opportunity. That's going to bend your ego, your pride and crush your arrogance, and I know it's going to be very hard for you, since it's a public writing.

And although I know that there are limitations to writing, since they put the topics you are going to write about, if the world works as you say, Bear, by coincidences and non-coincidences, you will soon have the opportunity. —Natalia finally asked.

—Well, I think that's really going to be a process of humiliation. —He wouldn't let me finish the sentence.

—Humiliation no, humility; you are going to show that, although you were or thought you had been right, your actions were not the right ones, since you let yourself be carried away by pride, ego and arrogance. —Natalia said.

—Anyway, when there is an opportunity, I will write in Ink The Well, and although it is humiliating for me, I will see it as an apprenticeship, to contain my ego; it is a commitment to you.

The hour is over and I know I have to go. By the way, I probably won't be able to come next week; if so, I'll notify you and see you in a fortnight.

Although I will do as you ask, I will only say that in both cases I was right, or a good part of it; they should not have named my grandmother, or any relative, mine or anyone else's in a comment, nor should that woman invent the gossip and the things she did.

Anyway, it's going to be a week of humiliation and growth, but it seems that having to do this is written in the stars.

Let's see how I feel after following your advice; the advantage is that, if I don't like the result, I fire you. —I said laughing when I finished.

After leaving the office, I went home and performed the therapist's first assignment at a condominium meeting.

The situation turned out very well, since I got rid of that lady's karma from above; the worst thing is that the meeting at the end turned into a kind of group therapy, where some people said several things to each other and where several situations were fixed. I actually left long before they finished talking.

And I don't know if it's the causality of the world, but today when I sat down and decided to open the @theinkwell community page, I got this phrase: “Written in the stars” in non-fiction.

And I said to myself, if it's not a kick from life to my pride and my haughtiness, then it's an excellent opportunity to move forward, and that's how I wrote the story.

Thanks for reading me.

To read in Spanish:

Fuente:

—Disculpe, señora. ¿Me podría decir la hora? —

—Con gusto, son las ocho y cuarenta y cinco. —

—Muchas gracias. —Dije, mientras apretaba el paso para llegar tarde a una cita médica que tenía.

Me sentía un poco perdido con la noción del tiempo, ya que había dejado el teléfono en la casa al salir apurado en la mañana.

Al llegar al edificio, había una cola de personas esperando para subir en el ascensor, y decidí subir los cinco pisos por la escalera, ya que no me gusta llegar tarde. Al llegar al pasillo del piso donde estaba la oficina, tomé el aire a fondo, lo sostuve unos segundos y lo dejé escapar después de manera pausada; eso lo hice tres veces y después toqué la puerta.

—Hola, Oso, bienvenido, te ves un poco agitado. —

—Buenos días, subí por las escaleras, es que dejé el teléfono antes de salir para acá, y en el camino me distraje tomando unas fotos. Y como no sabía la hora, le pregunté a una señora, y me dijo que faltaba un cuarto para las nueve, y apreté el paso y subí por las escaleras para no llegar tarde. —

—Todavía es temprano, según mi reloj, faltan diez minutos para la hora. Pero no te preocupes, pasa. —

—Me imagino que no me vas a cobrar la fracción de la hora. —

—Oso, soy terapeuta, no usurera. —

En ese momento ambos reímos.

Yo había decidido visitar a una psicóloga, por la presión que estaba ejerciendo mi compañera. Ella quería que tratara algunos problemas personales que tenían que ver con los niveles de exigencia, el orgullo y la capacidad de perdonar y de aceptar los errores de los demás, y tal vez hasta los míos propios.

Lo cierto es que para mí fue muy incómodo el proceso de ir a hablar con una terapeuta, más con la visión personal que tengo, de siempre resolver las situaciones familiares y personales sin ayuda. Es el bendito problema del ego: yo ayudo a todos, pero no necesito la ayuda de nadie; es el proceso de sentirse la columna que sostiene la casa.

En fin, después de varias reuniones, tanto la terapeuta como yo hemos llegado a la conclusión de que tengo dos situaciones que debo trabajar de manera urgente, para poder avanzar a la solución de otros escenarios que debía mejorar.

—Sabes, Oso, creo que deberías aceptar las gracias y las disculpas que te da constantemente tu vecina. —

—Realmente, Natalia, no tengo nada que hablar con esa señora. Además, no se me olvidan los chismes y los inventos que esa mujer realizó cuando yo estaba en el condominio del edificio; de hecho, hasta la iba a demandar y no lo hice por la intervención de las mujeres de mi familia. Prefiero quedarme como estoy. — —Sí, me comentaste los problemas que ella causó con los chismes y que te malpuso a ti y tu nombre, que para ti es algo casi sagrado, en un chat público. —Comentó ella.

—No le dirijo la palabra hace años, y ahora me pides que le acepte las gracias, que la trate y que le reciba las tortas y los dulces que lleva a la casa. No parece que hables en serio. —Contesté.

—Sí, ya sé que no le hablas, también sé que no te montas en el ascensor con ella, ya que una vez dijo que te estabas propasando con ella, y la única razón por la