There comes a moment when we realize that loving ourselves is not just a nice idea, but a necessity for survival in a world that constantly tells us we are not enough. Yet, no one hands us a manual. We are left to navigate the complicated terrain of self-worth on our own, surrounded by voices (both internal and external) that shape the way we see ourselves.
I have seen this in different cultures, where the definition of “beauty” is dictated by traditions, trends, and community perceptions. In some parts of the Southern region of Africa, for example, slimness is not just uncommon, it is sometimes frowned upon, even treated as a sign that something is wrong with you. In such places, the pressure to look a certain way is immense, and for a slim woman, this can become a source of shame. The irony is that, in other parts of the world, the same slimness is celebrated as the peak of beauty. This shows how subjective beauty standards are, how much they shift depending on where you stand and who is looking at you.
So, how do we start loving ourselves in the midst of these conflicting messages? For me, it began with unlearning the idea that my worth could be measured by the eyes of others. It is not an overnight transformation. It starts in small moments - choosing clothes that make you feel comfortable rather than ones you wear to please someone else, speaking kindly to yourself instead of tearing yourself down, surrounding yourself with people who see more than just your appearance.
Self-love grows when we stop fighting to fit into every mold and instead create our own shape. When I began to ask myself, “Who am I when nobody is watching?” I realized that my identity runs deeper than my weight, my height, or the texture of my hair. I realized that I am not a trend to be measured against, but a soul to be cherished.
And to feel better about ourselves, we must practice seeing ourselves through a lens of compassion. That means forgiving our flaws, celebrating our strengths, and giving ourselves permission to grow without constant judgment. It means acknowledging that we are works in progress, and that progress, not perfection, is enough.
Loving yourself is not about ignoring the world’s opinions; it’s about making sure those opinions don’t define you. And when we learn to do that, we find a kind of freedom that no outside validation can replace.
So, here’s to the journey of self-love, may we walk it boldly, nurture it daily, and never forget that the greatest relationship we’ll ever have is the one we build with ourselves.
Gracias¡. ❤️