SLOW TO ACTION

Growing up, I had always been a little slow on things. Probably because of my introvertish nature. I was slow to take action. I would rethink every word over and over again before I spoke, which was never likely. I was a shy person who was always so secretive and that was probably why no one knew I had a massive crush on my classmate Jerry, not even my best friend Nina. Jerry was calm and gentle. A perfect gentle man with a little bit of roughness around the edge. I noticed every single thing about him. I loved how his eyes would always shine brightly when he smiled. The dimples around his cheeks would become more visible when he laughed hardly. His voice always became so deep when he went all serious. God! It was so distracting. I believe what captivated me to him was the way he was so invested to his studies even though he was not the sharpest tool in the shed. His cheerful and easygoing personality that always brightened any room he entered. His kind behaviour and genuine smile kept me attached. Before I could realize it I had a crush on him. “I will tell him tomorrow,” I said to myself one day. However, tomorrow never came. The first day became the second day and then the third day and the next. It continued like that, my courage decreasing as the days went by every day. Especially when he smiled at me Nina, my best friend, was, however, very different from me. Bold and impulsive. She took action before even thinking about it. Never hesitated about anything. Just leaped whenever she could and went with the flow. We were the opposite of each other and yet we blended perfectly. One Monday after school, we walked out of class together. “Hey, it's the almighty Jerry, by any chance heading our way,” Nina spoke first teasing him. “Yeah, I'm just going to see my cousin,” he said laughing. “Well, you have to get us something to pass our street today,” Nina continued, hooking an arm around him. “Really now,” Jerry said cheekily. I watched them from behind as they moved from one conversation to the next. I observed how natural it came for Nina to act the part I have only ever imagined of being . They continued laughing, teasing each other like they were in a relationship. I watched in silent as a dull ache became evident in my chest. Soon it became very obvious. They amount of time they spent together increased. Nina would tell me about how and where they usually hung out, what often transpired between them, and how they would sometimes chat all night to no end.and I could all but nod my head and smile while she kept on talking. Listening silently as my heart became more and more heavier with every word she spoke “Guess what?” She asked me one day on our way home from school. “What?” I asked curiously. “Jerry asked if I wanted to go out with him me." She said happily The heart ached painfully. It was too much. I wanted to scream at something. My best friend fitted perfectly into the image I had envisioned for my crush and I. Taking a breath felt difficult. “Wow, that's awesome, did you say yes?” “Of course!” She went on and on about what she was going to wear, where they were going to go and everything in between. I quietly listened, and plastered a small smile my face. But that was my mask. A smile that hid what I truly felt. My mind screamed at me, “I liked him before you ever could.” I wanted to say, “He was supposed to be mine first.” But all I did was watch silently at my best friend being happy.  GENERATED USING META AI From day to day, week by week. I watched them grow more closer to each other. One morning, while I sat in the school garden as I normally did waiting, they passed by me, hand in hand, smiling at each other. I turned away my eyes. But I saw it anyways. The sight burned deeply in my mind. Some seconds after, I noticed a text message on my screen. It read. “Thanks for always being there. I couldn't ask for another bestie.” I gripped the phone a bit tightly than normal as I went on reading the message. My heart and head became at war with each other. Tears gathered up in my eyes. I turned off my phone and looked ahead. Staring at nothing in particular while my thoughts went wild. I couldn't blame Nina for enjoying the life I had always wanted, for being with the man of my dreams. Realization dawned on me that I had missed the boat a long time already. I didn't even try. Where I hesitated, waiting for the perfect time, my opportunity sailed away as Nina sprang into action. Using my bare hands, I cleaned off the small tear that appeared around my eyes and carried myself off the floor. I couldn't change what had already happened. It was too late. But I could change what happened henceforth. Next time, no more hesitation, I would spring into action.