Season 6 of Love is Blind is now on Netflix, and like I do with every season, I find myself binge-watching the latest episodes.
I find the concept of the show extremely captivating, and I can't lie: I love the drama! One cannot deny how messy some of the relationships are, and amidst the fleeting moments of sweet love, there are a series of questionable interactions.
As a queer, single person, I understand the desire to find a life partner and settle. And I've been in bad relationships because of desperation; but I have also grown to understand that desire whilst respecting my boundaries. In the participants of each season, I see a spectrum of both.
Self-Worth is a Required Foundation for Love
Two of my favourite contestants from the pods this year were Jessica and Trevor. Jess, in particular, knew her self-worth. Throughout her dates, she was direct, honest, and never sacrificed her well-being for the sake of coming out of the pods engaged. Her speech to Jimmy is going to be one of the most iconic phrases of the series:
"When you see and realise what you missed out on, you're going to choke. You're gonna choke! You are going to need your EpiPen to open up your airways because you are going to be in disbelief on what you missed out on." Jessica, Season 6 of Love is Blind
I admire her! It takes a lot of work for a person to be so poised in an emotionally charged situation.
Love is Blind... to Red Flags
Not every contestant has the same approach. Love is Blind is full of questionable judgements. What we, as the audience, see as obvious red flags, are things that, the dating partners do not. I think AD is the most baffling character for me this year; she realises when Clay messes up, but I personally think she's giving him too many chances.
And maybe that's on me. I love that she sees hope, that she sees the best in people. And I'm glad she didn't end up with Matthew, which was clearly not the right fit, to say the least.
Chelsea and Jimmy are two other characters that seem, for a lack of better word, insecure. They both said stuff that is off-putting. Which brings us to the topic of physical attraction.
The Obsession with Objectification
Let's start with Chelsea's comment on her being seen as "MGK's wife" look-alike, which I don't think she meant any bad intention. But talking about appearance during the pods is manipulative, to an extent. And it's clear that Jimmy expected Megan Fox, with the comments (and facial reactions) made during the reveal scene.
Talking about physical attraction and sexual tension is acceptable, though, so despite it being counterproductive to the show's aim, it's not necessarily problematic. What is problematic is Jimmy's comment about AD, and how Chelsea made that public.
Jimmy said AD was stacked, and his comment on her body made Chelsea, his fiancé, uncomfortable. However, Chelsea volleyed back and shouted the comment, making AD aware of her body being the topic. For odd reason, this turned into Jimmy flirting with AD, abandoning Chelsea to the bar by herself.
It's the only time AD got objectified. Laura 'jokingly' told Jeramey to 'bean dip' AD. They explained that this means slapping her breasts upwards and downwards; which is a phrase that most of us had not heard before. In a stroke of genius, Jeramey then repeats that comment in front of AD and her fiancé.
The more that I hear of these comments, the more I question the integrity of most contestants. Previous seasons had their villains, like Shake. It's not uncommon for a person to make their partner feel insecure about their looks or body, or the attraction between the couple. Yet, this is a central aspect to every season.
Love is Blinding
With the importance of physical attraction, or sometimes even the insecurities of how we view our own bodies, it would be ingenuine to say that Love is truly blind.
Physical attributes to matter, unfortunately. I do believe that there are people who can love regardless of physicality, and in fact, there has to be a reason as to why traditions of arranged marriages worked. Yet, it would be foolish to say that appearances don't matter.
We've seen in previous seasons that contestants often fear rejection from their families or friends. And personally, I think in most cases, these are internal projections. What if they are holding thought of a dream they had in the pods, and now need an external reason to break it off, without looking like the bad guy? Like they fell out of love?
And maybe it's that the desperation for love that is blinding. How can we, as individuals, disregard all red flags, throw away our fears, and then hope that our loved ones can break us out of a marriage that we don't feel confident in?
It is only a few who are confident in themselves that are able to transcend the judgement from society and their internal demons. This doesn't meant that not all of us deserve love, but rather that most of us have to grow and work in our relationships, which often requires more than just a month before marrying the person you're dating.