I wish to be kind all the time but I see a problem with that and perhaps you could relate with this.
Being raised in a good Christian home I was taught by my parents to have good morals and virtues. I was told to be kind, to forgive others without holding any grudges and always love people for who they are, my mother said because nobody's perfect.
But I watched her get taken advantage of because of her sweet spirit and overly good heart.
This is a good advice if anyone gives it to you and it can help us to live a more peaceful life. But there’s also something very important to keep in mind because there seems to be a gray area in this advice. We shouldn’t allow people to take advantage of us or treat us in a terrible way just because we have to be nice to people and accept people for who they are. Being a good person never means you have to let people walk all over you. Yes you can be gentle but you need not be weak because weak people are taken advantage of all the time. And there's a reason why they say nice guys finish last, because being too nice is literally a vulnerability.
Just because your forgive someone, doesn't mean you forget what they did. There's lessons pain and hurt brings and if you don't learn it, well, prepare for a world of pain.
The right path though is that you do not remain angry indefinitely. Your emotions should not be stuck on the issue but your mind should learn the lessons and make decisions influenced by those lessons.
We forgive in order to have a lighter heart because grudges out a weight on you that doesn't make you efficient. You don't forgive because someone else always deserves it. And understanding someone also does not mean you approve of everything they do. It just means you are making the attempt to understand why they did what they did, even if you still believe it was a mistake.
But if somebody keeps hurting you over and over and over again, you have every right to step back or break away. You don’t have to remain in a place where you are perpetually sad or confused or disrespected or dehumanized. You are allowed to say enough is enough, and you can say it without being a bad person. You can love people while also protecting yourself from being abused. You can care for people and still have your boundaries and have them respect that boundary.
We live our best life when we are balanced. We must have a soft heart, to make the world a better place, but also a strong mind to make ourselves ok. We need to give second chances, but not endless chances. We should be kind, but not dumb.
You can say no when the person is going overboard with what they're requesting from you. It is okay to walk away and it’s all right to prioritize your peace.
You being kind is a choice and being wise is also a choice. You won't lose yourself when you decide to hold both of them. I've tried this, perhaps our lives are different but this truth is constant.