On Math, Logic, and Teacher Things

As a math teacher, there are times where I stop and think about the message I am communicating to my students. If there is one thing I want to contribute in their lives to, it is to teach them to be comfortable asking uncomfortable questions, from the way they were brought up, to the beliefs that they hold to this day. Critical thinking *sells*: one could even make a livelihood out of it, but nobody ever talks about how it could be used as a weapon and a shield when wielded properly. I for one happen to teach the subject that is the training ground for critical thinking-- mathematics. Ironically, it is also the least liked subject of all. Once letters are involved in the subject, it becomes the devil's game. It's typical for students to least like this subject but my hope banks that someday, they'll eventually see the beauty of it. The beauty of the confusing, of the mind-boggling processes of the eventual falling into place of things. They might not see it now, but when they are more grown up and more exposed to life's frailties, where they'll encounter more chaos, where they'll ask questions they never would have expected to ask, where things don't make sense, and overwhelming uncertainty is considered a staple (second to the cup of rice in their meals), it's somehow comforting to know that the universe itself speaks the language of order and rules-- mathematics.  The universe is intelligently designed in such a way that beyond the visible chaos, there is certainty-- that uncertainty in itself (no matter how overwhelming it is)-- follows **order**, and because of that, almost any natural phenomenon in the universe-- from the flow pattern of a fluid passing through in a pipe at unsteady state, the growth of bacteria cells in an agar medium, to the expansion of visible galaxies can be modelled with mathematics. ----- I guess in my end, I take comfort in knowing that eventually, everything will fall into place. I guess one of the weaknesses of human beings is that, we do not sit well with uncertainty. I for one, do not sit well with uncertainty more than most 😅. That's why the state of being comfortable in the uncomfortable, or having faith, is my personal Achilles' heel. I would rather much be certain and reassured about things. Like the way my students and I keep searching for the value of x in math, the practice alone is already a pursuit for the truth-- a pursuit for certainty. Despite being an emotionally expressive, empathetic person who is prone to outbursts, meltdowns, and overwhelm, one thing I am grateful for is that engineering equipped in me another blade to tackle life's problems-- logic. Logic sits beside empathy, witty humor, and instantly gratifying vices in my arsenal. Logic involves taking things at face value. Logic entails setting realistic and valid assumptions (which is true for the most part in solving engineering math). Logic entails that problems only need to be ***well-defined*** in order to be half-solved. Logic entails that any type of risk should be calculated. I'm not exactly promoting the idea of *always* having to choose logic as the go-to route. Logical algorithms are helpful indeed, and things become a lot easier with practice. Sometimes, I wish everything is as straightforward as applying IF formulas in MS Excel: **=IF(this happens, I do this, *I do this*)** but we all know majority of life's problems are more complex than that. For example: As someone who fears abandonment, you cannot really control other people's actions, and calculating the probability (p)-value of being abandoned won't exactly solve the problem. Sometimes, empathy and kindness is a better route. Sometimes, it's acceptance. Sometimes, it's showing people memes, or giving them a hug. Sometimes, it's doing full pole sessions to channel out internal rage. Sometimes, it's getting a third cup of coffee on a busy day. Sometimes, it's keeping a straight face through the day despite being triggered. Sometimes, it's allowing people to hold space and cry. Sometimes, it's merely showing up, and shutting up. ***I guess that's where wisdom comes in-- to know which blade to wield in a given situation, to use it for the highest good, and to ensure that the more loved parts of humanity survives.***

About The Protean Creator: _{Roxanne Marie is the twenty-year-old something who calls herself the [Protean Creator](https://proteancreatorconfessions.blogspot.com/2018/05/what-is-protean-creator.html). She is a chemical engineer by profession, pole-dancer and blogger by passion and frustration, and lastly, a life enthusiast. She is on a mission to rediscover her truth through the messy iterative process of learning, relearning and unlearning. Currently, she works as a science and research instructor in her hometown, Tagbilaran City, all the while documenting her misadventures, reflections and shenanigans as a working-class millennial here on Hive. If you like her content, don't forget to upvote and leave a comment to show some love. It would be an honor to have this post reblogged as well. Also, don't forget to follow her to be updated with her latest posts.}