Of course, life happens, tables do turn but what holds a relationship or bond is the value of humanity and a strong mentality that "no one knows tomorrow", even though this is a sentence that the rich don't love hearing. Some say, no matter how kind you are to those in need, when it's their turn to return the favor, they might not be able to, leaving you to wonder if they are the same people you helped when they were at their lowest. The answer is yes; the difference now is that you are at your lowest and they are ahead of you.
Some do take disappointments in good fate while some can't handle the weight of it. Some break down, struggling to let go, while some just sleep it off and move on. A wise man once told me that, "classmates, age mates, course mates are not destiny mates." These were the words that held me through when I was at a crossroads in my life. This was when gaining admission became a thug of war. My mates were already in higher institutions and some have graduated. Then I was still seeking admission. Five years after graduating from secondary school, a reunion was held and I was invited. I went there and to my surprise, someone who was my close friend in secondary school acted like I was a stranger. Without feeling bad, I took it upon myself and greeted her first, she replied with some kind of attitude that left me speechless.
I couldn't phantom what was wrong there, until she made a statement to one of my mates then present that this reunion are for big girls and boys in school, those words hit deep into my spirit, I was angry in my spirit and at the same time disappointed that someone who was once my close friend back then is now a total stranger all because she was ahead of me in education. I thought about it so much that an inferiority complex set in, and I began to see myself as less than who I am. I started avoiding any gathering whatsoever, whether I was invited or not, until my parents talked some sense into me. I was able to get out of it thanks to my parents, who made me realise that "classmates are destiny mates".
As if that was not enough, although this person wasn't much of a friend, she was more of an acquaintance. She got married and everything changed. For her mingling with a single lady like me was a sin. To her, marriage is a great achievement, and because I'm not yet married, she thought I didn't know what it takes to be a married woman, and that made her cut ties. I tried to ask her the reasons for the distance, and the only reason she could give was, "she's now married," and since then, I had to give her the space she required.
Another one that looks like it was a friend who traveled out of the country, and since the level had changed, she changed totally. She now sees every message as a burden, and I want to beg for money. Since I noticed, I decided to stop messaging. For me, I believe there is more to life than these things people hold on to with so much interest. The future is bright for everyone. Being outside Nigeria isn't a ticket for a better life, and there is every possibility that someday, I will get to that level too. It might not look like it now, but the future is unpredictable.
The time I can say I changed towards a friend was when I noticed our thinking and mentality aren't the same. This was someone who loves talking down success. Anytime I wanted to try a new thing, she always gave negative vibes about it, making it look like it wouldn't work out, no matter how hard I tried. She was killing the positive side of me, making me see myself as not capable of achieving anything good. She was supposed to be an encouragement, but she was the opposite. I noticed this when I wanted to start my clothing business, she said all sorts of things that nearly made me give up, but thanks to my family, I was able to see beyond what I was seeing, and I worked towards it, and today I have good testimonies.
In my opinion, I don't think status should change how we behave towards those we call our loved ones. The gift of good men is rare, so when we have good ones in our lives they should be valued instead of being neglected when status changes.
All images are mine
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