There's still no new update so I ended up rereading some of the previous chapters of Killer Peter *(Killer Pietro)*. And while reading them, I came across again with the death of one of the antagonists I once really loathed and it's Judas. Btw, if you're not familiar with Killer Peter, it's a manhwa about a retired killer who got ambushed in his bookstore. He was nearly killed that day, but by some miracle, something happened and when he woke up he suddenly found himself back to his teenage glory! Now back to his prime body, Peter will do everything to get back to those who nearly killed him and as well to do the things he wasn't able to do back then.
Ok, ok I think I gave you enough idea of what it is all about, so back to Judas—like the usual meaning of his name, he became the traitor amidst them. There are several times while I'm reading it that I wished he would just die, but just when my wish came true—I somehow kinda regretted it. It's not that he's forced to be a villain, but like Judas in the bible, Judas in Killer Peter also yearned for something. It started with wanting something, then that yearning became envy and greed and they soon transformed into hatred. It was bad when he realized he couldn't surpass Peter but it became worse when he sunk deeper into his hatred.
The need to bring Peter down became so urgent that he used any means to kill him. Many lives became the collateral damage of his greed and hatred. He badly wanted to be like Peter or even surpass him, but in the end that became his downfall. It wasn't solely his fault, but as he said, it's his choice to pursue him again. I don't want to spoil much about how their ill-fated connection ended, yet somehow when I saw his last moments I somehow felt a pang of sadness. He isn't purely evil, it's just he's influenced by the wrong people.
Honestly, he had a lot of potential, but that also became the reason why he strayed. His loneliness poisoned his reasoning and just when he felt a warmth of companionship, he yearned for more. It's sad that it's probably validation that he needed that time—I mean like Peter, he also grew up in a harsh environment. But unlike him, Judas didn't find trustworthy companions or friends. Also, the younger Peter before was much more secretive with his emotions, so I guess that became his motivation to yearn more to be like *perfect Peter*, not knowing that Peter also is far from being the emotionless killing machine because he also cared for the people close to him, and Judas was even part of them.
*So was his death a karma or a tragedy?* Well, it's something that I have seen coming, but even though he was once a villain I loathed, at the end, I somehow sympathize with how he felt. Judas could have been one of Peter's loyal friends if things had gone differently. His death may look like karma—a payback for the bad things he had done in his lifetime—but upon rereading his backstory, it felt like a tragedy for me. No matter how evil a person is there's really someone who cares for him, but unfortunately Judas didn't realize it. As I said, it's the loneliness that poisoned his ideals and perceptions.
Even though it's still his choice, his life is unfortunate because unlike Peter he didn't get a second chance. I don't think he also wanted one because, in his last moments, I can really see that he had resigned to his death. He could have taken Peter's hand and waited again for the right moment to strike him down, but he didn't. He already felt that it was tiring, and so he let go. I somehow sympathize with him because there are times I couldn't help but compare myself to others. Like him, I also get impatient whenever I see someone achieving what they want and I, just here—existing. He was a prodigy, so the disappointment was real when he realized he couldn't be the best.
I too relate with that one because I also excelled in my younger years, but then as I met more people I realized that I couldn't be the best I envisioned myself to be. And so my greatest burnout happened, and luckily it didn't result like Judas' end—mine came like a harsh warning—it almost became like his end but I guess the fact that I'm still sharing this is one of the reasons I'm still existing. Anyway, his story—may it be a karma or a tragedy—was unfortunate, but it's a reminder to us that we shouldn't always strive to be the best rather it's fine to just improve a little, for it's small progress that starts bigger ones. Btw, I'm starting to sound like a lecturer here, so I'll just leave it like that.
I hope you enjoyed reading through my brief *(really?)* ramblings, and if you haven't tried reading Killer Peter, then I guess I shared *(more like spoiled)* enough to make you try it. Judas is just one of the many villains that Pietro will face in his *second* life, and most of them really have interesting backstories. So if you're interested, then perhaps this is your sign to give it a try. That's all for now minna-san! *Hona ne~*
All the pictures that were used were screenshots from its manhwa while the first picture was edited in Canva.