Dick-head 1. stupid, annoying, horrible person; jerk: "I couldn't care less what all the dickheads up the pub reckon"; 2. stupid; foolish; befitting a dick-head: "It was a dickhead thing to do"; "You dick-headed nob"

The Yoga Swing

Them: Hi is this available? Me: Yes, are you interested? Them: [No Reply. Ever.]**

Them: Hi, is this available? Me: Yes, are you interested? Them: Can you deliver? Me: Where do you live? Corio. (45 minute drive from me) I resist the urge to tell her to use her manners, and that I am not a personal fucking delivery service, and tell her it'll be another $50 to deliver. No answer.

Them: Hi, is this available? Me: Yes, are you interested? Them: Does it come with ropes, carabiners and straps to attach to the ceiling? Me: No, you'll have to get those yourself from Bunnings. Resists urge to query why they think they'd get all the added extras for that price.

The Vintage Mirror

Them: Hi is this available? Me: Yes, are you interested? [No Reply. Ever.]

Them: Hi is this available? Where do you live? Me: Names town. Sorry too far (it's a fifteen minute drive away) Me: Resists urge to ask them why they didn't look at the location in the advertisement and how close do they expect something to be?

Them: Hi is this available? Me: Yes, are you interested? Them: DIMENSIONS?????? Me: Resists urge to tell them to read the entire advertisement where the dimensions are listed, and to use their manners.

The TV Unit

Me: Hi, is this available? We can come past on Saturday, but need to know it's solid wood first? Them: Yes, it's solid wood. Me: Goes out of my way to get to the place to pick it up by said time, navigates traffic, a dog at the gate, two toddlers by the front door, and finds it is not solid wood and awkwardly says no thanks.

The Herbal Book

Them: Oh my god I love this book! It's beautiful! I'd like to buy it please, but I can't afford til Tuesday, is that okay? Me: Of course, no worries. Message me Tuesday. Them: Awesome! I really appreciate it! Thankyou! Me: Tuesday I message her in the evening. Wait three days for her to reply that she's sorry and can't afford the $5 I'm asking. I readvertise for twice the amount and sell it the next day.

The Archery Set

Me: For sale, archery set, with arrows. Facebook: Careful you don't get banned for advertising weopons, which goes against our policies. Me: Shouts at screen. It's not a fucking weopon, it's a hobby. Facebook This is a warning - you might get banned if you keep this up. Me: Okay, I'll sell on Gum Tree. Gumtree: Crickets.

The Peugot

Them: Hi, is this available? What's your lowest price? Me: Ad says $1000 Them*: I'll give you $200, but my cousin will pick it up because I'm in hospital, is that okay? Me**: Blocks user, reports as spam.

The Compost Bins

Them: Three compost bins for sale, $20 each. Me: Hi! Yes please! I'll take all three - can I pick up tomorrow? Them: ME: Hello? Them: NO. REPLY. EVER. Me: Hello????

With Love,

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