Grimey Gimbles Tavern
Lords and Ladies, Landed (or Crashed and burned) gentry of the Kingdom of Hive!
Please allow me to introduce our evenings entertainment. Due to our last Bard refusing to return we have a rare treat.
Before he takes the stage please allow me to remind you that rotten fruit is acceptable however due to the aforementioned incident I must ask you to refrain from flinging Fish.
Please allow me to introduce...
Bovis Stercus!
( Cue a distinct lack of applause )
Dearest Listeners allow me to tune my Lyre and serenade you with the a tale of epic proportions.
A Tale of desire and Daring, The story of a daring duchess leaving her mark upon the land.
It all started many moons ago...
The Life of Of Fanny: The Duchess of Soggy Crevasse
From The Marshes of A Keep beyond the Red tide The Duchess Fanny Her horse did Ride Saddled and Oiled her most trusty steed Over Peasants she rode, never paying heed
Until at the town of The Duke Most Vile She called him out to parlay for a while Duke of The Shaft I challenge You to A duel Present your sword you charlatan fool!
So battle began upon a soggy field Back and forth neither did yield Until with a great sigh The duke she did fell Unconscious, Unbreathing without even a yell
So once again her trusty steed she did mount For hours she road, miles beyond count Until once again at a Castle she stood Staring up at the walls of Bobbin the Hood
Bobbin I hear that across the land You wield your sword better than any man! So out he strolled with a Mighty Large Club And proceeded to do battle through bracken and shrub
Once again Fanny triumphed and won Leaving Bobbin in tears, spent and undone On her way once more to a worthy foe to find Searching for that champion, one of a Kind
Until in the distance a Tiny Fort she did see Bearing not one tower, nor two, But three At the small gate she knocked and beckoned the lord Come out and do battle, Quickly I'm Bored!
So out He strode in Miniscule stature Wearing High heels and Lace to Match her I'm afraid My lady you have knocked the wrong door You bear the wrong weapon, no reason more
So onwards she rode in search of a fight And came across the automaton Knight Battle began from dusk until dawn Until both of their energy was spent and gone
So remember fair traveller Please hesitate not For a machine can offer your Lady Something You Haven't got.
( Silence occasionally broken by snoring as the Bard hurriedly leaves the stage )
Well That was certainly... Something. Thank you for your patience and for refraining from...
( Notices nearly everyone has passed out, at their seat. )
Well I guess That's the end of todays performances, Please insure that you follow the house rules and use the privy, If you feel the urge to be sick, the pig pen is just outside to the left.
This has been an exert from- ๐๐ฒ๐ท๐ฎ ๐๐พ๐ผ๐ซ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐๐ฒ๐ผ ๐ข๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ฎ๐น - ๐ข๐ฎ๐น๐ช๐ป๐ช๐ซ๐ต๐ฎ ๐ธ๐ท๐ต๐ ๐ซ๐ ๐๐ฌ๐ ๐ฆ๐ช๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ป
๐ฆ๐ป๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ท ๐๐: ๐๐ธ๐ป๐ญ ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ ๐๐ป๐ธ๐ต๐ต๐ธ๐ฌ๐ด ๐ฃ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฃ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ป๐ญ
All Pictures taken using my Chinesium phone a M11 lite while Fleeing enraged Goblins on horseback and drinking mead.
Otherwords... Might be a bit blurry...