Stop pleasing everyone, learn to say NO politely.
Our generation is pretty well equipped to run the marathon of life, given that we have gone through lot of hardship without much expectation. Back then life was simple, there was no stress because we did not ran after anything, and pretty much did what our parents expected us to do. We were taught by our Parents to have kindness for everyone, without even thinking about the consequences. Help was always in our blood and in that process, I tried to please everyone, never said NO to anyone. Slowly that seemed so obvious that I could barely say NO even to outsiders, people would often come with their problems and ask for financial assistance and I would easily give them what they need, without even thinking the pros and cons. During Covid times, an auto driver whom we used to hire at times, came and asked for financial help saying his family is starving and he will repay back once his financial conditions improve. Couple of years passed and when things came back to normalcy, I asked him politely to repay the money and that is when there was significant change in his behavior - he started behaving like he would do a mercy on me by repaying. Later I heard he was into illicit drug business and even ended up behind bars for some time - so I decided to quit all communication with him. And that was not just one occurrence, I helped many people with financial assistance and none of them honored their commitment and those relationships have almost ended in conflicts.
So over time I have realized that pleasing everyone by showing kindness is the worst thing to do in life because the outside world is not as simple as us - people come with malafide intentions, and we being simple, easily trust them and help but then in reality, that harms the relationship. So the best thing is to learn to say NO at the first place. The moment you say NO, the entire scene changes and people may even try to bend you emotionally but if you consistently decide to choose NO, they will accept that as normal and not ask you back again. And the best part of that is that, the relationship stays normal - it's the money that creates conflicts in relationships.
The world is not the same as it used to be four decades back - so we have to learn these things and more importantly teach our kids to be careful and learn to say NO. This post is in response to the The Silverbloggers Chronicles - Prompt #9
The photo is from a decade back - the kid went with me when we took the delivery of our Scooty and now he has grown up to ride it - more to come on that......
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