I woke up from a bit of an uncomfortable dream. Not exactly terrifying ot horrible but unpleasant for sure. It was hard to distinguish reality from the dream because it feels like I’ve had a more watered down version of this occur in real life
Some of the artists I respect the most were put off by me. While working with and hanging out with some friends, they all decided that I wasn’t good enough of an artist to participate.
I felt….resigned. Not devastated. I’ve already been working through this feeling as a possibility and have had some awkward interactions so nothing is all that far fetched, though I still think that if we got to know each other, they wouldn’t behave this way and would most likely be MORE interested in me.
But more importantly, I don’t want it to matter so much. Rather than seek their approval, I want to be someone so content in myself and my work that I don’t think about what anyone thinks other than to feel appreciation for those who appreciate it.
With my eyes only barely open, I got to work on making a video. The home recording I made yestersay was still in my head so I tried to use it as a soundtrack for my week in Kyoto.
Initially it doesn’t feel like something that goes together, but with a bit of playing around I managed to tell my story in the way the images play off the sounds and the sounds play off the images.
My attempt to know Kyoto as a living organism:
https://youtu.be/aGPWuyhHurw?si=Fk7jjsEpJSmBZZhz
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