I have a friend whose husband is 22 years older than her, and according to what we thought was the right thing, the age gap is way too wide.
According to us, it was weird just because, we, as the society thought it would be too much of a challenge for a 25-year-old lady marrying a 47-year-old man that had never been married.
I mean, how would they communicate without having issues? Would the guy not feel disrespected whenever the wife tried to talk to him like a partner? What if she finds it hard to cope with been married to an elderly man?
Well, it happens that all these questions were our assumptions, and because it was not us in the situation, we did not have to say anything than rejoice with her. However, we still were concerned. Her response to us though stood out so much that we knew she was in the right hands.
When we were in school, I know some of the guys she dated. She was with one who was within our age bracket, and we thought, “oh well, they would get along well”, however, we were wrong. It didn’t end well at all. In fact, it almost ended in chaos for my friend. We had to hijack her from the ship before she drowns.
The other relationship I know of was with a guy younger than she was. It was going well at first, but suddenly, he had issues with the way she tends to correct him, tried to make his life better, and helped him navigate some holes in his life. The result? He felt “controlled”. He didn’t realize that been partners mean that we would correct each other, see each other, compromise for each other on things that can be compromised, grow in love, and not feel anyway below our partner.
My friend eventually decided to stay off relationships while she healed. And guess what? She fell in love with a man that is way older than she is in the process of healing. In fact, I can say that the man helped her heal. And when she realized that she was ready to take on another relationship, she found herself entangled with a man not only five years older or younger, but twenty-two years older. Phew!
At first, she wanted to fight it for the sake of what people would say, but she realized that her happiness and peace of mind mattered more than what anybody thought. Well, now, they celebrated six years anniversary this year, and trust me, it has been a blissful journey.
Now, imagine there was a law that restricts that kind of marriage, what happens to my friend? Will she keep looking for love within her age bracket, when all she keeps meeting there was heartbreak and mental breakdowns? That would be really chaotic.
The huge challenge of race, religion, genotype, and many other restrictions in marriage is enough. Adding age to the barriers to marriage among lovebirds would only witness a hike in the number of individuals that would be imprisoned for breaking the law of love.
True love in itself is not easy to find. However, if it is within my age bracket or not, so be it. What matters is finding the love that stays with me, doesn’t stress me, doesn’t deceive me, doesn’t drain me, and rather makes me glow, grow, and laugh heartily.
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Posted Using INLEO