It was a beautiful sunny day. I was going to finally resume school after taking an abrupt break to tend to my health that suddenly started failing in my finals. I was happy to return to school even though I had missed out on all the semester’s continuous assessment tests, however, I was no longer the same girl who left.
My body had shrunk, my skin had paled but my smile bright like the morning sun remained intact. I was so happy even though I knew my life had taken an unexpected turn. I had to be more careful now because I could return to the hospital if I made a slight mistake.
I alighted from the motorcycle at my hostel, dropped my bags, and headed straight to school to meet my supervisor who was always looking out for me despite my unannounced absence.
The moment he saw me, he pulled me into a warm embrace and whispered, “thank you for coming back to us, alive”. Oh, that was the most reassuring hug I had gotten in a very long time.
After spending some time with my supervisor, I returned to my hostel to rest from the day’s stress, and then, came the knocks. My course mates and friends came bearing gifts, but the most important of all those gifts being their hugs because I needed them. I was almost out of my mind trying to understand what was happening with me because even the three doctors I met, including a psychiatrist, had no answer.
My roommate on the other hand knew she was in for a long ride of whatever kind of help she could render because first, I had lost more than 50% of my strength. I couldn’t even perceive the smell of anything other than air else, I would be back at the hospital for another round of treatment.
Everything was gradually getting back on track until I until the murmurs and gossips ruined the moment.
“Is she the first person to fall sick? Why will anybody disturb the peace of the hostel because of one person? Is she the only one with friends? Why is it that it’s only her roommate that was doing the chores? Does she think she’s that big?” and so many others. I heard them, loud and clear, but I didn’t mind. I smiled like nothing else mattered, and honestly, they didn’t matter at all. However, at some point, it started getting to me.
Their words started penetrating through me when I heard someone said “oh, that girl from that department? I’m very sure her result will be bad this semester because she hasn’t been serious. She missed school for a whole month, maybe because she thinks nobody is as serious as she is”.
At that point, I knew something was up. I didn’t realize that I had a lot of people checking me out until calamity befell my health. My business suffered a major blow first because I didn’t have the strength to carry on with it. I was medically advised to stay away from triggers of the symptoms I had.
Then, my sleepless nights reduced. I couldn’t spend much time reading because within 30 minutes, the headache would hit me like there were some war happening up there. Gradually, it got worse.
I would cry so much yet put my best into reading because it was a week to the exams now, and it was my final exams as an undergraduate. Any mistake would mean spending an extra year in school. The thought of that alone made me cry so much, but I was going to put in my best anyway.
On the last day of our exam, the heat in the exam hall made me lose my breath and I was rushed to the school clinic where I wrote the exam with the help of the doctor who insisted I wouldn’t have an extra year because of that.
The exams were done. Everyone was happy, and we were waiting for the result.
The result was released, and I had the worst result ever that semester, but I smiled nonetheless because I had no extra year. However, there was someone who said, “despite all her gragra, she didn’t still graduate the best”.
At that point, I knew I wouldn’t let that go. So, I turned around, slowly took a few steps towards the person that spoke, stood up tall to her eye to eye, and said, “when you have multiple near death experiences, have to visit the hospital at least twice a week, live your life on medications, lose most of your strength, and are still able to pull a 4.00 points out of 5.00, then, you can come and speak to me about not graduating the best. In the meantime, you can just swallow the pit of saliva down your throat because despite the dark spots you have on your heart, your results still do not meet up with mine.”
The atmosphere? Awkward. My friends? Shocked. Tension? Risen. Silence? So heavy that the drop of pin would be resounding. Soon,one of my friends moved closer, held my hand and gently pulled me out of the space.
I wasn’t going to fight. I was only going to let her know that until she walked a mile in my shoes, she shouldn’t measure my journey with the yardstick of her assumptions.
Images are from MetaAI.
Posted Using INLEO