My Dearest Companion -
Unexpected surprises - a message that was given to me I can't remember when at this point, from Krishna. I giggled at the phrasing and was excited at the promise. I used to live my life very buttoned up, very rigid. Holding on to every bit of energy I could with all the force I could. A lot of fighting the wind in hindsight. Who doesn't love a good fight though?
My Grandmother says I live flying by the seat of my pants, and to anyone just peering into my life, that is most certainly how it looks. I don't see the path that lays before me, so each step is trust, is faith. Each step can only present itself at the right time, so I must always be ready for it. I must be willing to accept and act when the time has come.
There is a quote I rather like a lot by David Whyte that goes "How you know you are in the right path, is when it disappears in front of you."
Now, the reason that I am sitting and writing this today is because my heart has been given unexpected surprise after unexpected surprise. It has been such a funny journey and as I sit here and reflect on it, with sand from the shore on my toes, I am happy. I am at peace. Not just because the word was true, but because how can one be upset when life is so beautiful as this?
I thought I was going to stay @hivehubguate for quite a long time yet, and just like that, I was given a path. It was so swift that I had very little time to acclimate to the change and I will be the first to admit that I struggled with my faith this time quite a bit.
I have been walking this path, dedicated to this path, for a number of years now and there have been a few points along the way where my faith was shaken. Shaken, but never taken. You see, when we lose hope as humans we want to give up, give in, take a rest. What I learned is that this is the exact moment you need to push harder. I'm not saying ignore your body, surely, but I am saying that energy is infinite and all you must do is ask for the support energetically. In this moment you must just ask, and you will, so it will be there for you.
Walking the path requires great trust and trust can be broken when dealing with humanity, so going all in and giving everything to something you can't even see, is a sizable task. I have lived a life that has been arduous, strenuous and most difficult, but we are not a victim of our circumstances. It is not to say that getting back on track to your path is ever easy. You must be willing to face yourself head on and not look away. You must be willing to accept that you are the creator of your world, and everything is just an opportunity if you so choose.
Unexpected surprises have defined the path for me for a while now and it has been quite a glorious way to live my life. I am never bored, at least not for long anyways.
The Cosmos can never bring you an experience you don't ask for. It is important that you understand that what you speak carries so much weight. Whenever I am feeling impatient, really, I call out to my guides and I demand something different. The reason that I left Guatemala was because right before the full moon in September I understood that I had been moving with fear in my heart still in regards to my higher calling. I thought I was ready, but I had been avoiding a conversation with them for quite some time. Having felt them pulling, knowing that after I had it, my life would be drastically different.
I was prepared, at the start of this conversation, to be quite mad, thinking that I had done everything they had asked and quite upset that it had yet to change in my reality. As I began to speak out loud, I stopped, and started to record because there was someone who needed to hear this from me. To experience this with me, though he was countries away from me. As soon as I proclaimed that I was ready, I had this vision of all the beings in the Cosmos just charging into the darkness on my behalf. The dark and the light, joined together to create the way forward, the mission my soul had come to know my entire life, ready to carry out.
It was a relief in that moment to realize that I had experienced all the beautiful parts of being human, and that I was ready for things I had yet to know. Right after this, and the reason that I have not yet published my next Stranger Experience article is because I got sick, right away, violently, with multiple illnesses for over two weeks. As I was just starting to feel better, I was tossing and turning on the couch and a scorpion stung me. I flung it across the room and was in pain for two hours. Grateful it wasn't a baby, as it could have been much worse.
I was then led to clarity in a meditation, though I thought at the time it was not clarity at all, but just nostalgia. I meditated again and the same message came forth to me. I reached out to my friend again, as he lives where I was pointed. Knowing that if I leapt I was letting go of all the security that I had been wishing for this entire year. It was insanely difficult to let go of everything all at once, with only a few days ahead of time did I decide to go back to Tamarindo, Costa Rica. I had to be here, I had work to do with my friend.
I cried and I kicked and I screamed, not holding tightly to faith, but rather to my humanity in this moment, though I always move forward with what I set out to do no matter if there is fear, or resistance. The trip was difficult from the first moment I arrived to the airport. I realized the ticket I had gotten was for the next day and it was 4:20 in the morning. I had to spend money to get a ticket for that day, and something in me was insistent, 'you must get there no matter what today', so I called support and made it happen.
Right as the plane pulled out, it pulled back in just as quickly, and my Spanish is poor, but my eyes were ok, and I saw we were exiting. With all of my travels I am used to hiccups, but this one was new. All of Costa Rica was shut down due to the radars being broken. No one could fly in, out, or over the country. The airline said hop in and we will take you all to Panama, and when we arrive get you to San Jose as soon as we are able. I got in, excited at the prospect of keeping in line with my original itinerary. However, I was told by personnel that my case was unique and that I was very likely stuck in Panama.
She soon learned I was not unique at all, and handed me my ticket to a really big and really full plane to San Jose. I got the last bus out of the city, but only after I got scammed by a taxi because I did not have service for an Uber and was hopeful to make it into town to get service before I traveled the 7 hours in the bus. I arrived at 11, exhausted, but my friend poured me a cup of Jameson and handed me an arepa, so bed time was not close yet.
The unfolding of this trip thus far has been magical and beautiful in a way that I was not aware it could be. I think there is more surprises yet to come here and I am well prepared for it. Looking back at all the emotion I was feeling, though valid, was not a necessary experience, but an elected one.
The path unfolding before you may seem daunting and scary, but please remember, the darkness is where creation begins. You cannot have the light without the dark and therefore, you must allow the faith and the trust in all things to have a smooth transition. It's always ok, however, to have a lot of fun in your humanity. I most certainly love a little drama.
Here is to unexpected surprises, may they give you hope when all seems lost. Let them lead you to your freedom!
All For Love and Love For All, S.