Forgiveness is a word we all know, but living it out is one of the hardest things we face. I wasn’t planning to write on it this week, but after reading the heartfelt posts by @mayt @cochanet @elviguitarra and other #ladiesofhive members post, I felt stirred to share my own voice and experience.
Forgiveness, to me, is first about peace of mind. When someone hurts you and you hold it in, the pain sits in your chest and in your head. It pops up at random times and spoils your mood. You snap at people who did nothing wrong. You get a “bad name” from those who don’t know your story. That is why I see forgiveness as a gift I give to myself before anyone else.
What Forgiveness Is and What It Is Not
Forgiveness is for your peace. It calms your heart and clears your mind.
Forgiveness is not amnesia. You don’t have to forget.
Forgiveness is not foolishness. You can forgive and still set limits.
Forgiveness is not the same as trust. Trust is rebuilt with time and proof.
My mum (may her soul rest in peace) taught me this with her life. When someone crossed a line, she would give them space. Not to prove a point, but to protect her peace and keep the relationship from getting worse. She hardly got angry in public. She mastered her emotions. People called it weakness but I call it wisdom.
Why Forgive Someone Who Doesn’t Deserve It?
Let me be real: some actions are bad. Very bad. The person may never say sorry. Still, I forgive because:
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I refuse to let pain control me. I won’t let one act define my day, my words, or my future.
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People are human. The best of us is still human. The person who hurt me today may be the same person or the link to a person who opens a door for me tomorrow.
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My faith. God asks me to rule my feelings, not let them rule me. Forgiveness is a way to obey and stay free.
Do We Always Have to Forgive?
My short answer: Yes, forgive always. But how you move after that depends on the case.
Forgive fast. Rebuild slow. You can forgive today and still watch things for a while.
Set clear space. Limit calls, reduce visits, change how you share. That is not hatred, that is sense.
Keep a door, not a floodgate. Leave room for peace and future help, but do not throw yourself back into harm.
This balance keeps your heart clean and your life safe.
The Cost of Holding a Grudge
Sudden anger over small things (triggers).
Harsh words you cannot take back.
Ruined links that you may need later.
A heavy heart that drains your joy and health.
It is not worth it.
Don’t Forget Self-Forgiveness
Sometimes I am the one who failed. I signed the wrong deal. I spoke in anger. I missed a chance. When I keep beating myself up, it spills into how I treat others. So I practice:
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Name it: I messed up here.
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Own it: Make amends where I can.
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Learn the lesson: What will I do different next time?
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Release it: I will not punish myself forever. I move on.
Self-forgiveness is part of healing.
When Life Hurts and God Feels Silent
This one is hard. Last year I lost my mum. If you had told me that would happen, I would have fought you. The pain is still fresh. I still cry. I do not fully understand why it happened. But I still believe God is good. I choose to trust that He sees more than I see. I keep walking with Him, even with tears. Forgiveness here looks like this: I drop my anger at God, I keep my faith, and I let Him heal me day by day.
Simple Ways I Practice Forgiveness (Step by Step)
Pause and breathe. Don’t reply in the heat of it.
Say what hurt you, calmly. Use simple words. No insults.
Pray. Ask God for strength to let go.
Decide the boundary. What space do I need to stay safe and sane?
Watch my mouth. I don’t spoil someone’s name out of anger.
Keep the link light. A greeting now and then. Help when it is right.
Repeat as needed. Some wounds take time. Keep choosing peace.
Concerned Thoughts
Should we always forgive? Yes, because it frees us.
Why forgive people who don’t deserve it? Because you deserve peace.
Do we have to keep them close? No. Forgive, then set the space you need.
What about myself? Forgive yourself too, learn, and grow.
What about God? When life hurts, hold on to Him. He still loves you and He still has a plan.
Reflection Questions
What anger am I carrying that is shaping my mood and words?
What simple boundary would protect my peace right now?
If I forgive today, what will I stop doing, and what will I start doing?
What lesson is this pain teaching me?
Forgiveness is not easy but it is freedom. I choose peace and sanity for my mind, my future, and my walk with God.
So, for me, forgiveness is more than a kind act, it’s a choice to free my heart, protect my peace, and leave room for the good that the future might bring. I may set boundaries, I may keep my distance, but I won’t let anger decide who I become.
I know forgiveness can mean different things to different people, and some wounds are harder to heal than others.
What about you, do you believe we should always forgive, even when the person doesn’t deserve it? How do you personally handle situations where letting go feels impossible? I would love to hear your thoughts and learn from your own experiences in the comments.
Thank you so much for taking the time to visit my blog and read my thoughts 🤗 I truly appreciate your presence here 🙏Until next time, I look forward to connecting with you again. Peace and love always ❤️