Last week, as I was visiting a nearby church here in our area, I came across a homeless man. He was sitting near the entrance of the rectory. All by himself, he was talking. Mumbling some words barely comprehensible. I felt pity for the man.
He was dressed in ragged clothes and carrying a sack. Inside the sack were his few possessions and some garbage he picked up along the streets. In his hand was a bottle of water. I could see that the bottle was almost empty. The sight of the man touched my heart. I decided to approach him.
I went over to my pocket and reached inside. Some spare change and a 20 peso bill. I decided to give this to him. As I turned the money over to him, I could see in his eyes a gesture of thankfulness though he just stared at me. But no words were spoken between us. As we left the place, questions began to arise in my mind.
Was the man truly alone? was he even lonely? Only he knows the answers hidden deep within himself. Sometimes I even wonder if was he truly lonely. or is it just a state of mind?
Every once in a while, we experience some sort of loneliness within ourselves. As human beings, we are vulnerable to these emotions because it makes us human. It makes us alive.
**What is loneliness?**
Psychologists define loneliness as "a state of distress or discomfort when one perceives a gap between one's desires for social connections."
**But why do we feel lonely?**
To answer this question we need to examine ourselves why we are lonely in the first place. What causes our loneliness? Do we need validation from other people about our feelings and emotions so that we can be happy and not be lonely? I highly doubt so.
But every once in a while, something bothers us. Something affects us on a deeper level. The subconscious mind starts to search for answers.
For centuries philosophers have tried to ponder these questions, seeking answers to these fundamental elements of human emotions.
Soren Kierkegaard's thoughts on loneliness were **"I am alone, as I have always been; abandoned not by men, that would not pain me, but by the happy spirits of joy who in countless hosts encircled me, who met everywhere with their kind, pointed everywhere to an opportunity.”**
St. Augustine says **"You have made us for thyself, O Lord and our heart is restless until it rests in thee".**
Even our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ has experienced loneliness. "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matt. 27:46; Mark 15:34)
However, solitude and loneliness are not the same. Some men prefer to be alone all the time. They may seem to be lonely because they are alone, but deep inside they are in good company with themselves. Alone, but not lonely.
Now, you may ask, how do we deal with the feelings of loneliness? Can loneliness be avoided? Loneliness my friend, can not be avoided. We just need to deal with it positively. The stoics said it best: We suffer more in imagination than in reality.
Until next time my friends!