I really believed that if I sat down behind my computer and started writing, it would help calm my mind. But to be honest… every time I tried, nothing came out. My head was filled with a thousand meaningless thoughts, and I just couldn’t find the right words to put on paper. Whenever I was alone with my thoughts, my mind always went straight to my dog. The pain in my chest was unbearable. Deep inside, I still kept this silly, stubborn feeling that she was just away on vacation… and one day she’d come back.
That’s why we packed our things and drove to Slovenia. I just couldn’t be alone with my thoughts. For three days in a row, I was surrounded by people…talking, laughing, playing games…and it helped.
But whenever I remembered that soon we would have to return to our apartment, to the silence, to the emptiness with no barking, my stomach would sink. I couldn’t face it. So we stayed two more days, again in the company of friends and family.
And honestly, it helped. We played cards, poker, Omaha of course. Buy-in was just 20 euros, and one of our friends thought I didn’t know how to play. I don’t know why..last year I already took all his money, and he said that was just luck. 😂Oh, how wrong he was!😂 After five rounds, I took all of his money again. He was in shock, couldn’t believe it. So he bought in again. And again, and again… six times in total 😂😂😂. I laughed so hard my stomach hurt. I even managed to take money from another friend, and my husband laughed like crazy watching the whole thing.
But there was one small problem. Every time I played against my husband, I couldn’t win. Not once! 😂 He beat me every single round. And sure, it’s our money anyway, but still… I wanted to prove that I could beat him. Nope. Impossible. 😂 At least I went home with 140 euros in my pocket. My friends told me they wanted revenge, because apparently it’s “impossible” for me to win every time. I told them: “no problem, let’s see when payday comes and you have enough money for me to win again” 😂😂😂.
Yesterday we finally decided it was time to drive back to Austria. I realized I can’t keep running from the pain forever. I have to face it. I always tell others: “Accept the pain, overcome it.” So how could I not do it myself?
Before leaving, my brother took me to visit his friend…the queen of books. She has the exact same taste in books as me. ☺️ It felt like a dream. I picked up 7 books…all parts of one story. Seven! 💪
(yes, she has this cutie) 😊
Yesterday we came home, and I almost finished the first book already. Today I woke up late, had my coffee, sat behind the computer… and suddenly the words just flowed out of me. Finally, I could write again. I hope this will stay.
And now? Time to read more 😉 Don’t worry, I’ll definitely give you my reviews of those books…whether you like it or not 😂
With love, @tinabrezpike ❤️