When I was small, much smaller than I am now. I wanted to disappear between the cracks. That space you see between rocks, those fairy tale doorways that you see in some trees ( yes they are just holes, but come on, they look like doorways). I spend a lot of my time wanting to disappear, to make myself small enough, that I could just easily slide in between the gaps. To explore the world that lay beneath my feet. I would spend ages outside, imagining what it would be like. Following insects around, especially ants. Ants fascinated me, they still do.
At night when I went to bed, I called on the fairies to come take me away with them. I knew that they came to check on me in the night, I just knew it. Just like I knew they existed. There was never ever any doubt in my mind that they existed, because I could feel their presence around me. I would leave them gifts, visit their fairy rings, but never enter them. Because everyone knows you should never enter a fairy ring, unless the fairies call you in. Although I felt connected to them, I was careful not to overstep. It's important to respect the fairies, us Irish know that, their is no messing with them.
Having them watch over me as I slept, really helped me to feel a sense of calm and safety at home, which is not something I experienced often. It's amazing how much our faith in something can carry us. And I had faith in the nature spirits, in the peace I found outside amongst the trees, in the sound of the babbling brook at the bottom of the field, or the black peat of the bog, with it's bog cotton and heather, a wild place.
The bog, is a mysterious place, at first glance it seems like a sea of black, but as you begin to explore, you see the different flowers, the different colours, bronze, yellow, emerald and purple. It is also a dangerous place, many folk have been swallowed by the bog holes. The ground you see, is not fully solid or liquid, so it is not an easy place to trust. I have heard many a story of people getting taken by the bog. As much as I was taken by it's beauty, I would never venture there alone, even as a girl who wanted nothing more than to disappear between the cracks. Because if you are alone in the bog and you begin to sink, you will not get out, unless you are lucky enough to have a low hanging branch to reach for.
I grew up with a very healthy love and cautiousness when it came to nature, a huge respect for the land that surrounded my home. That allowed me to feel at home, safe and also slightly intimidated. Which drawn a great respect, something I carry with me today. Forever a wild child.
( All the photos used in this post are mine, taken when I was back in Ireland.)
