Last week I hit a wall, not in the physical sense. Although my body did ache. It was when I began to get pain in my chest, that I knew, that perhaps it was time to slow down. When I did slow down, the exhaustion hit. For I have been pushing my body, too much these past few months. Finding myself on a wheel, that just led me to my downfall. And fall I did, where I literally had to spend a week resting, in bed. Getting frustrated with myself, because I just never seem to learn.
I felt really defeated at first and then really worried, especially about my chest pain. It was an intense pain, more like a warning sign, a sign that I knew not to ignore. I am lucky that I have some amazing friends and when I finally told them how I was feeling, they offered their help in whatever way I needed it. My youngest was taken to stay with a friend so that I could get some proper rest and some food was delivered. Along with some hemp power, ashwaganda , some red Maca and a Hawthorn tincture.
Every morning I have been making a smoothie with the hemp, Maca and Ashwaganda, as well as the mushroom mix I take. All of them adaptogens, helping to support my body as I rested and healed. I usually take my mushroom power everyday, but I ran out last month and just let it slide. If you have to push yourself in life, you really should also be supporting yourself. Which I wasn't.
Hawthorn, is known as the tree of the heart and I have long had a connection with this amazing tree. It is also a gateway into the fairy realm and is quite the sacred tree in Ireland. The berries, help to regulate your blood pressure and the support the heart. It is such a wonderful support during times of grief.
I feel like we are all grieving at the moment. Six days ago, a dear friend of mine passed away. Dale. I had only known him for s couple of years, but we hit it off straight away. Delving deep into our life stories. He was someone, who had really turned their life around and he also had one of the biggest hearts. He was such a joy to be around, even when we shared our stories. He was also cheeky and he really made me laugh.
Today, I went into town, for the first time in over a week, as there was a celebration for him. Organised by a mutual friend, so that those of us who loved him, could come together and celebrate the wonderful being that he was. He really was someone that made the world a better place. I still don't feel a 100%, but I wanted to be there. To talk about him, express my gratitude and share my grief.
Thank you Dale for coming into my life, I feel blessed to have known you, even if it was for too short a time. You will be missed Mo Chara.
( The pictures I have used, are of the collaborative painting that was done for our wonderful friend Dale, this morning at his celebration. )