Applaud me.......
Don't we all seek recognition, don't we all want to be seen and heard. I was a shy kid, but still I wanted to be on stage, singing and dancing. I grew up watching all the musicals. In the day, I'd go roaming the countryside, singing all my favourite songs at the top of my voice, when I knew they was no one else around. No human anyway. I knew all the songs from "My Fair Lady", "Singing In The Rain", "Calamity Jane", "Mary Poppins" to name a few. Those were the songs I would sing to the trees, to the cows, to the nature spirits. They were my best audience, the ones I felt most comfortable with and I believed that they applauded me in their own way.
It's funny how nearly all of us, wish for a little bit of fame at one stage of our lives. Imagining what it would be like to be on a stage, where everyone came to hear/watch you, to hear them all applaud you. As though it is fame that gives you worth. What a world we live in, where we connect self worth to fame, at such a young age, aspiring to be like those we see on the T.V, in the cinemas. When in actually fact, there are some different rights of passage, that deserve other people's applause.
As I grew up and explored more of the world, I realised, how much of our attention, is being pulled towards more external forces. When we really should be focusing on our own lives and the lives of those around us. Celebrating our own personal achievements and life's milestones. One of my major life achievements, was birthing my daughters. When I actually got to experience my own strength, the strength of my body and my will power. damn I felt so powerful. And yet, it is not something that is celebrated. Yes the baby is, but the mama, where;s the applause for us mama's.
I've really been enjoying getting back into free writing, just letting the words flow out of me, with no real thought for what I will write beforehand. Just seeing what comes out. There is a great freedom in that and freedom is so important to me, in it's many forms. Freedom to think and share and express myself. The freedom to just let my thoughts flow and share whatever it is that needs to come out. Because usually it's a surprise. I started this freewrite, thinking about my childhood and my love for musicals, for singing and ended up writing about birth. Which I guess is a wonderful example of where our thoughts can roam, when we give them the freedom to do so.
