THE SHORE

(Photo Credit: David Brandy Photography)

Sometimes I release a poem, and just know it's not finished. I published 'The Shore and The Woman,' about two weeks ago: https://steemit.com/poetry/@underwaterwoman/the-shore-and-the-woman-or-new-original-poem.

But I couldn't help working and re-working it to a new refined state to clarify the flow and meaning. Compare the first one to this next pass if you're interested in my editing process.

I give you, 'The Shore:'

There’s a shore where she stands just a woman and Time.

Each grain underfoot outpaced overhead by stars in their stead.

Still hoping for more she looks up and not down, praying ashes to ashes leave dust but undone.

Time taps his watch, unauthoring moments that play in the sand racing breathlessly onwards towards a future out of hand.

While gluttonous gulls fly with clocks snatching hours and the ripe fertile soil fades slow with the sky.

A metronome ticking the womb and his tapping crash melodies unheard —  melodies unhappening.

What do you think?

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