This prompt made me remember few years ago, I came to stay with my mother-in-law for sometimes and one thing led to another, she called me names. None of what she said got to me, except one, till today I still remember it. I have forgiven her but I won't forget it, she has said both to my face and behind me.
Then, when I remember that word, I usually cry but I later decided to stop crying and now each time I remember it, I just shake my head and say to myself "it's well". I have forgiven her but I will never forget it, even my mother has never said such to me, I took her as my mother so I was broken hearing such from her.
I have forgiven her and I'm slowly forgetting what she said to me
To forgive is not easy especially when the person hurt you deeply. Here's a question: must we forget what happened in order to truly forgive? Can we say we’ve moved on if we keep remembering the pain? I don't think we need to forget before we say we have forgiven someone who hurt us.
When we say we have forgiven someone, it means we have decided to let go of anger, bitterness or the desire to get back at someone who wronged us. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying what the person did is right. I'm only saying that you can decide not to carry that pain anymore, you can choose peace of mind.
Forgetting is completely removing something from your mind. As humans, is that even possible? If someone that you trust, lied to you or cheated on you, can you truly forget it? I know I won't forget such thing.
You decide not to forget what someone did to you doesn't mean you haven't forgiven them. You can forgive someone who hurt you but still remember what they did to you, the most important thing is how you feel when you remember such thing.
It's very real to forgive without forgetting, it's sometimes wise to do so. When we forgive without forgetting, we can protect ourselves from being hurt in the same way in the future.
There are times when forgetting helps because if you keep reminding yourself of the hurt, you won't forward. It'll just be holding you back. Sometimes when we choose to forget the little things like arguments or harsh words, we can save our relationship. Not every hurt should be carried forever. We heal faster when we decide to forget.
To forgive is easy but to forget is a process. A process which some people don't want to follow, they rather hold onto that hurt than forget it and have peace.
To answer the question: is forgiving and forgetting a package deal? The answer is no it's not a package deal, we can forgive but not forget. The only thing that matters is how we feel when we remember. I believe we all want peace of mind. Holding on to pain blocks that peace. Letting go, even slowly, is a gift you give to yourself.
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