💼 CHAPTER 6 — RECOVERED FILE: DIARY OF A HYDROCRAT OFFICIAL

Status: Classified / Accidentally Declassified / Immediately Reclassified

Author: Martin Larmefort, Level 7 Analyst-Accountant, Secretariat for Controlled Thirst Period: Year H2O-52 Preface Note: Document found on a forgotten floppy disk inside a SECRET® vending machine (Vengeance-6000 model)

📅 DAY 1 – Thirst Is Value-Added

First day at the High Authority. They handed me an access card, an empty glass, and a manual titled: "How to Tell a Free Droplet from an Act of Terrorism."

Orientation meeting: We learned that non-commercialized water is now classified as a "wild" substance, on par with anarchy or uncalibrated strawberries.

A superior told me with a smirk: "Here, we don’t manage resources. We manage scarcity."

📅 DAY 7 – Launch of the "Dry Baby Dry" Educational Program

Schools received the first batches of SECRET® Baby Prime™ smart bottles. Every cry triggers a micro-payment from parents. "Learn thirst from the cradle," says the slogan.

I suggested in the meeting that this was… maybe a bit much. My badge was deactivated for 24 hours due to "insufficient hydro-systemic enthusiasm."

📅 DAY 13 – Briefing on the Passive Hydration War

Tensions are rising with countries refusing to install nasal humidity meters. SECRET® now funds "Targeted Evaporation Operations™" via geo-climatic satellites.

They call it: "Preventive Hydroneutralization."

Weather forecasts increasingly resemble military warnings.

📅 DAY 21 – New Product Presentation

They did it.

SECRET® VOID™: A perfectly empty bottle, marketed as a "spiritual experience of inner thirst."

Limited edition, $800 apiece. Sold out in 2 minutes.

The marketing department was awarded the Cross of Economic Absurdity by the Ministry of Irrational Commerce.

📅 DAY 29 – Dissolution of the Concept of Public Water

A new decree was signed: Water can no longer be used without a transaction.

Even tears must now be declared as "unauthorized fluid emissions." A colleague burst into tears at the announcement. He received a 43-credit fine.

📅 DAY 31 – Meeting a Resistor

A man slipped me a note on the metro: "The tap still exists. Join us. Free Throat."

That night, I drank tap water for the first time in 6 months. It tasted… like betrayal, fear, and freedom.

📅 DAY 34 – Reality Has Been Acquired

Latest government announcement: SECRET® has officially purchased the Ministry of Truth, the weather, and… God. Faith will soon be a premium option, billed monthly via SECRET® ChurchPay™.

The spiritual campaign slogan is simple: "BELIEVE™ — Only if you’re subscribed."

📅 DAY 36 – Final Entry

They’ve read my journal. I’ve been summoned for tomorrow. I suspect my bottle is bugged. I’ve started refusing to drink.

Thirst keeps me lucid. They won’t win.

End of entry.

Winners SECRET and ECU

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