Some people misinterpret minimalist tendencies as flaws and sometimes, this is out of ignorance. People tend to instantly place a negative tag on concepts they cannot or choose not to understand. A minimalist, for one, may be described as being selfish, boring, overly simplistic or over critical of consumer culture. Most times, the misunderstanding can be cleared with a single conversation but not many people are willing to just listen and learn.
Recently, I did my clinical rotation at a maternity unit and during my stay there, I noticed this female nursing student from a different college always stealing glances at me. This continued for days and at some point I felt she was watching my every move. This was troubling to say the least but I ignored it all together because she wasn't even in my unit, just a visitor.
I got posted to a different unit and this new unit turned out to be her unit too. This was where the drama started. For a greater part of my first day in that unit, I tried to keep busy; attending to patients, taking their complaints and escorting them to wherever they needed to be escorted to. On many occasions, I caught this lady intensely staring at me like a predator would its prey. This creeped me out but what was the worst that could happen in a public space?
Eventually, when I settled down, the young lady walked up to me and sat on the chair directly opposite me. I knew something was about to unravel.
“Hello I'm Divine” She said and I responded with my name as well.
“Well Wongi, I just want to let you know that I've been watching you for a while now. You act all simple and nice on the outside but deep down you're a trouble shooter who escapes from the crime scene after causing trouble.”
I laughed so hard because this lady was clearly a comedian. The fact that she managed to keep a straight face while saying all of that was hilarious. This confrontation prompted a response from me.
“Well, thank you for the observation. But I'm not in any position to accept or reject your assumption. One thing I can say is that I would certainly not flee from a crime scene if I indeed caused a ruckus. I would stay and watch”.
This lady may have screamed the loudest “I knew it!” I've heard. She called me a liar, she argued about the fact that I was a calm person, she argued about the fact that I was a minimalist and even argued about the fact that I was the last child of my parents. At some point, a random health worker was trying to defend me and she was now arguing about me with the other health worker. What's more fun than watching two strangers arguing about you on a Tuesday afternoon.
The lady in question couldn't believe that someone could choose to just be simple. She probably picked this up from an interaction or conversation I had with one of my colleagues and took it upon herself to prove me wrong.
It was at this point that I realized, this lady's mind is already made up and trying to convince her otherwise wouldn't work. But, why would I even want to convince her? Letting it be seemed like a better option.
One key takeaway from this experience is the realization that I owe absolutely no one an explanation for how I choose to live my life, especially if the explanation is tilting towards a heated argument. If an individual assumes I'm this way because of XYZ reasons then I let them assume. If by any chance, they have a conversation with me and they still disbelieve me, then I let them live with their own theory.
Choosing to respond with a smile and letting the matter die down was yet another thing that intrigued/aggravated this young lady. Because instead of causing a scene and ensuring I preside over a conversation about me and the way I am, I let her talk. This was yet another key takeaway from the experience. By remaining calm, I was able to keep a level head and by doing so, avoid any further escalation of the situation.
Amusingly, I didn't give this experience much thought , until I came across the kiss prompt for this week.
Images are mine.