Afternoon folks,
I've been rather preoccupied for several months now, due to injury, depression, a relapse into alcoholism and the ongoing recovery process from both chronic addiction and healing the underlying issues that fuel those addictions. It involves a great deal of emotional labour, as well as conscious re-conditioning to effectively transcend the cultural and personal paradigms that effectively trapped me in a state of helplessness. In many ways, it's quite similar to escaping a Cult that is fully endorsed by the entirety of Western Civilization.
That de-programming process is an excruciatingly harrowing process, and quite honestly, it damn near killed me. Where it not for the Three and One, and my father's love and support, I'm not certain if I could have made it. I knew when I took Granny Luci's gift and stepped on the Golden Road, it would be a transformative experience... but holy shit!
One of the most transformative things was actually brought on by unemployment and (borderline) homelessness. I've had solitude, sleep and food the whole time, which is certainly a nice departure from when I had none of those things. And it has brought its own challenges, because due to my injury and the evergrowing boredom of being unemployed and sendentary throughout Winter brought with it slow depression and existential angst, as well as a lot of loneliness. Add in the constant access to alcohol, and a relapse was bound to happen.
If it hadn't been for the week-long series of panic attacks that followed when I broke through my denialism of precisely how methodical my exploitation on the parts of the con-artists and psychopathic roommate had truly been, I likely would still be drinking. I had been passing out without taking my night-time meds, then forgetting my morning doses due to hangovers; so I spent several month unmedicated without realizing it. A breakdown was inevitable, and hospitalization required detox; and it was a very good thing.
I've been very active on some rather reclusive support communities for distressed men, and posting like mad. I might try to adapt some of those posts for Steemit, but I'm not certain precisely how well the anti-plagiarism Cheetah-Bot would take that. We'll have to see.
So this is me back, I have MUCH to report, and I'll see about getting around to that. Hope everyone has been doing well.
Love to the Loving,
Silas Danois
